BBC Ǥʰ𝐎sтS | incorrect quotes

13

Humphrey: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer.
Thomas: You're right, Humphrey.. Violence can't be the answer.
Humphrey: Correct, Thomas. Now, on to the next lesso-
Thomas: Violence is the question.
Thomas: And the answer is yes!
Humphrey: Thomas, no-

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Alison: Hey, what's the name of the guy who lives down the hall?
Mike: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.
Alison: That's not what I asked.
Mike: That is all the information I have.

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Julian: I am so horny and angry all the time.

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Fanny: Bet you can't eat 15 crayons.
Julian: Bet you I can!
Alison: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 999 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

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Thomas: At this point I have to confess... I started to feel a little bad for Humphrey. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them at their own game, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable to look into their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Humphrey did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over all their lowly competitors. Or... perhaps... was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again... all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Humphrey really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along?
Thomas: But then I remembered that Humphrey ain't shit, and I got over it!

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Julian, texting Mike: I'm a theif.
Mike: Thief.
Julian: Theif.
Mike: I before E except after C.
Julian: Thceif.
Mike: NO.

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Mike: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Julian: If it is, I'll see you in hell.

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Alison: Did you have to stab them?
Julian: You weren't there. You didn't hear what they said to me.
Alison: What did they say?
Julian: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Alison:

Alison: That's fair.

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Robin: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Alison: That doesn't exist.
Robin: Not with that attitude.

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Alison: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Julian?
Julian: No.
Alison: I think I speak for Julian when I say it sounds really super.

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Thomas: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.