BBC Ǥʰ𝐎sтS | incorrect quotes

4

Humphrey: Fight me!
Julian: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?
*Later*
Mike: Why is Julian crying?
Pat: Humphrey kicked them really hard on the ankle.

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Humphrey: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

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Fanny: Remember, if you die in the simulation—
Humphrey: Yeah, yeah, I know, if you die in the simulation you die in real life.
Fanny: What? No! You need to reset the simulation with the terminal! What is WRONG with you?!

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Fanny: Blue M&Ms are the best.
Mike: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?
Fanny: What about it? They are.
Mike: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!
Mike: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!
Fanny: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!
Captain: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.
Humphrey: I like the yellow ones.
Fanny and Mike: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

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Julian: Oh god, they texted you 'hi.'' punctuation only means one thing, Humphrey. They're mad at you.
Humphrey: No, it's Mary. They're just being gramatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Mary: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.
Captain: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Mary: I stand by my choice.

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Kitty: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do?
Fanny: Oh... I'd mildly trouble everyone.
Kitty: Alright, so what would you do?
Fanny: I'd shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw.
Fanny: I'd twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren't working.
Fanny: I'd make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one.
Fanny: And I'd tie everyone's shoelaces together.
Fanny: And then lastly, I'd snip a little hole in every tea bag.
Kitty:
Kitty: Remind me to never allow you to have power.

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Mike: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake?
Mike & Julian: One, two, three-
Mike & Julian: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks!
Kitty: Our turn, Robin! One, two, three-
Kitty: Vanilla!
Robin: I've never had cake before. What is cake?

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Julian: Where are you going?
Robin: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!
Julian: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!
Alison, knowing full well that Julian got Robin an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

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Robin, wearing shades: Rule one of destroying the world.
Robin: *does finger guns* You gotta look good while doing it.

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Humphrey: Italics.
Captain: Yeah, Italians.

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Captain: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.
Fanny: Aw... that's not true.
Fanny: It'd be exactly the same.
Fanny: You're not important.

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Humphrey: Astrology is fun because I can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.
Mike: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That's not hate it's just a fact.

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Alison: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?
Julian: Why?
Alison: Humphrey fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.
Captain: Fanny doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"