To the Barricades

Not a Dream After All

"What I said, about loving you, it was true." Enjolras said, a staring at Eloise from across the table in his flat.

"I know, Enjolras. But don't you think you were too harsh on Grantaire, tonight?"

"No, not at all. Well, maybe, but I've got to be harsh, I'm their leader."

"But you're also they're friend, Grantaire's friend. And he deserves an apology because it takes courage to admit you're in love."

"I guess you're right. But he loves me!"

"Yes, he does and so do I. If you won't do it for him, apologize for my sake. Please."

"Alright, you are right again. I will head over to his flat right away.

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Grantaire was not prepared for the knock on the door and panicked when he realized that the walls and floor was covered in painting of Enjolras. He took a rather large sip of wine and slurred, "Come on in!" He was even more unprepared to see Enjolras enter his flat, his eyes darting from the paintings and the artist.

"Um, Grantaire, about what I said, I apologize. I had no right to speak to you in that manner."

"Well apology accepted and I suppose I owe you one too."

Enjolras gave a small nod as silence filled the room. Grantaire watched him glance at all the pictures, it worried him what he would think. He watched as Enjolras walked over to the painting of Enjolras and himself, he reached out and gently touched it and turned.

"Grantaire, you painted all this? You're very talented." Enjolras voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

"Thanks. I used to paint, before I started drinking. Sometimes I got a few francs for my art. Not anymore. Now I am too busy being useless."

Enjolras found himself contradicting Grantaire, "You're not useless..."

"Oh, but I am Enjolras. I started drinking at the age of fifteen, by sixteen I was a hopeless alcoholic, just like my father before he up and left. Like father, like son, as they say. I am just as useless as he and even more so. He began drinking the day I was born, I was a burden forced upon him. My father never wanted me, he just married my mother to have a free woman every night. He fell to the bottle, as have I, he gave up, as have I." Grantaire began to cry, it was a sniffle at first but soon turned to a sob. Enjolras, unsure, but sincere, sank to the floor besides him.

"Grantaire, please..."

"Don't 'please' me, Enjolras. You knew it before I that I was a worthless, cynic, drunkard who would could not commit to anything."

" 'Taire, I was wrong, and I am so sorry for ever making you believe that was true. Forgive me, please." Suddenly, Enjolras wrapped one arm around his friend, causing Grantaire to look towards him.

"I will always forgive you Enjolras, no matter how you hurt me because I love you." At that moment, Grantaire drew closer to Enjolras and slowly placed a kiss on his cheek. "I love you, Enjolras."

Enjolras, feeling strange and confused, pulled Grantaire closer with his other arm, fully embracing him as Grantaire tried to understand what was happening. Enjolras, he's hugging me. Willingly embracing me! No, this can't be real, it must be a dream. Grantaire found himself embracing Enjolras back, a smile spreading on his face. Not a dream after all.

After a few minutes of silent embrace Grantaire sent Enjolras home, scared that he might have been dreaming to far. Just because he hugged me, doesn't mean he loves me. It might have just been a friendly gesture. But, no. He loves Eloise and Eloise loves him. Yes, Eloise is better for him. He and I weren't meant to be. Or maybe we were? What if he decides that he loves me?

For the first time in many years, Grantaire went to sleep happy, because for once, there was hope that Enjolras could possible love him.

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On the walk home from Grantaire's flat, Enjolras tried to sort out his mind. I love Eloise. I think I'm falling in love with Grantaire. Eloise loves me. Grantaire loves me. He soon realized that his mind was clear, it was his heart that was confused with emotions. I want to be in love with them both. Enjolras thought about how he thoughtlessly hugged Grantaire and thought it best not to tell Eloise about that or the kiss. Lord help me know whom I truly love.