Y/n Diaz, the new rookie

i'm sorry you had to find out like this.

⚠️trigger warning for this chapter: self-harm, talk of eating disorders and purging⚠️

*the next morning you and angela wake up around the same time and you run for the toilet and start puking your guts out*
Y: "god how much did i drink last night?"
A: "A lot more than me" *she laughs then holds your hair back as you throw up in the toilet*
Y: "alright i'm good now."
A: "good i hate puke."
*you laugh then walk to the kitchen to get coffee*
Y: "you hungry? i can make some breakfast if you want."
A: "yeah i'm starving"
Y: "alright what do you want?"
A: "some eggs and toast maybe?"
Y: "okay i can do that" *you smile at her*
A: "thanks!"
*you start cooking and when you finish you give her her plate*
A: "you not having any?" *she asks confused as to why your not eating*
Y: "nah i think if i eat i'm gonna throw up again.."
*you lie but she sees right through it*
A: "Y/n.. you didn't eat yesterday at all. what's going on?"
Y: "i'm going to throw up if i eat."
A: "i mean i guess you are hungover."
*you laugh at her comment*
Y: "no shit sherlock"
*you both laugh*
A: "can i use your bathroom to shower?"
Y: "yeah of course. let me show you how to use it because im 'so nice'"
*you get upstairs and show her how to use the shower and then leave*
"holy shit she almost found out. that scared the shit out of me"
*you see your blade and you're tempted to cut yourself so you do it*
1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 cuts
5 cuts
*you hear the shower stop and start to clean up your wrists*
"shit shit shit"
*you put your blade back where it was in your vanity and grab some toilet paper you keep in your vanity drawer. you quickly put some bandages on and pull your sleeve down so Angela can't see your bandages*

A: "hey sorry i took so long your body wash smells so good i was smelling it for like five minutes straight"
*you both start to laugh when she looks at your face and realizes you were crying*
A: " what's wrong Y/n? you look like you were crying."
Y: "oh i wasn't i was just uh.. wiping my makeup off so my face is a bit red.."
A: "i'm not stupid Y/n. i know you were crying, what's going on?"
Y: "i-it's nothing.."
A: "come on you know you can tell me."
Y: "I-I can't. you'll just judge me.."
A: "you know i'm not like that."
Y: "but do i?"
*you start to feel dizzy and the next thing you know your vision goes black*

Angela's POV:
"Y/n? can you hear me?"
"shit."
*i call 911 and they said the ambulance will be here in two minutes*
Paramedic 1: "What happened?"
A: "S-she passed out while i was talking to her.."
Paramedic 1: "does she have any medications or is she diagnosed with anything?"
A: "I-I don't know.."
Paramedic 2: "how well do you know this girl?"
A: "um not very well. i'm just her training officer.."
Paramedic 2: "you guys are cops?"
A: "yeah. i'm sorry i'm no help.."
Paramedic 1: "she'll be okay, she just passed out but we should take her to the hospital to get her checked out."
A: "Okay.."
Paramedic 2: "she's gonna be okay. you coming with us?"
A: "y-yeah.."
*i walked out to the ambulance and sat in the back. we got to the hospital about 5 minutes later and they took her to a room*

Y/n's POV:
*I wake up in the hospital room and realize my wrist is out, i look down and see it's not the wrist with my cuts thanks god.*
A: "you're awake!!"
Y: "what happened?"
A: "you passed out."
Y: "Shit." you mutter
A: "what?"
Y: "Uh nothing.."
*the doctor comes in*
Doctor: Alright Y/n my name is Dr. Williams were got your test results back and you passed out from malnutrition and blood loss."
Y: "W-what?"
Dr. Williams: "when was the last time you ate Y/n?"
Y: "uh. about two days ago? maybe?"
A: "what?"
Dr. Williams: "and do you know how you lost blood.?"
Y: "i- uh- yeah.."
Dr. Williams: "And what is it from..?"
Y: "It's uh- it's from- self-harm.."
A: "oh" *she whispers*
Dr. Williams: "alright. we're not going to admit you since you don't seem like a danger to yourself, but we do need you to eat."
Y: "oh.. i guess i'll eat, but only because i don't like hospitals."
Dr. Williams: "alright i'll be back with some food. anything in particular you would like?"
Y: "no thanks."
*Dr. Williams leaves*
A: "Y/n.. i'm sor-"
Y: "Don't say a word. i'm sorry you had to find out this way.." *you cut her off and start crying*
A: "Don't be sorry Y/n, I love you."
Y: "I love y-you too"
*you guys hug and Dr. Williams comes back in*
Dr. Williams: "i got you a salad."
Y: "thank you Dr."
*you take a few bites wanting to throw up*
A: "You can do this Y/n." *she smiles through her tears*
Y: "stop crying your gonna make me keep crying"
*you guys laugh*
Dr. Williams: "i'll get your discharge papers ready"
Y: "thank you."
*10 minutes later Dr. Williams comes back with your papers*
Dr. Williams: "i got your papers you just have to sign here and here" *he points to where you have to sign*
Y: "okay thank you!"
*you sign the papers and then go home with Angela*
A: "when were you going to tell me about this..?"
Y: " i was going to tell you but then i passed out.."
A: "you need to tell Grey. I can come with you if you want."
Y: "I probably should. i also haven't documented all my scars.. which he's gonna tell me to do."
A: "yes he is."
Y: "i guess we should go then"
*you guys go to your car and drive to the station*
A: "you ready?"
Y: "not really.."

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