Y/n Diaz, the new rookie

i'm fine.

⚠️TW: self-harm, eating disorder and suicide attempt⚠️

you wake up and see Tim on his phone texting someone

Y: "who are you texting?" you say sleepily
T: "Angela. she wants us to come into work."
Y: "ughhhh"
T: "i know im sorry. she said she needs help on a case."
Y: "fine let's go." you frown
T: "we don't have to babe."
Y: "it's alright let's go."

you get up and go to the bathroom to get changed and do your makeup. you walk out to the kitchen to grab your keys and leave since Tim already did. you drive to the station and walk over to Angela and Tim

Y: "heyyy i'm here"
A: "hiii"
T: "hey gorgeous" he smiles
Y: "hello mr." you laugh and kiss him
A: "Timothy you've gone soft for Y/n. like no joke."
T: "1 no clue what you're on about. 2 don't call me Timothy."
A: "fineeee, Timothy."
T: "Lopez."
A: "oh my god screw you"
Y: "stop arguing"
T: "fine only because i love you."
Y: "i know you do" he smiles

Grey walks over and asks you and Tim to go to his office

T: "what's going on sir?"
G: "so the past two days you have not shown that your relationship affects your work. you guys are not getting suspended."
Y: "thank you sir."
G: "no problem."

he lets you guys go and you go back to Angela and start talking about the case. lunch comes around about an hour later and you walk off to the bathroom to try and hide

A: "Y/n? are you in here?"
Y: ...
A: "if you are i have food for you."
Y: ...
A: "alright i'll go check somewhere else then.." she whispers

you start feeling bad that she bought you food and you just hid in the stall and start to cry. you want to cut right now but try to ignore the urge to. after about 10 minutes of ignoring them, you cave in and grab your blade from your phone case and start to cut your thighs.
1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 cuts
you stop at 4 cuts but make 4 more on your right thigh. you walk out of the stall and wash your hands then leave. you go to the break room to 'grab a snack' but Angela sees you and walks over to you
A: "hey where have you been?"
Y: "i don't know i was just walking around."
A: "oh alright i was looking for you but i couldn't find you."
Y: "oh sorry."

you try to walk away but Angela grabs your arm

A: "you okay?"
Y: "i'm fine let's go."

you walk to the shop and Angela follows you
she starts to drive

A: "are you sure you're okay?"
Y: "Angela i'm fine okay!"
A: "okay sorry."

she parks at the corner of a street and puts the car in park

A: "i know you're lying."
Y: "Angela! i am perfectly fine! stop telling me I'm not!"
A: "i'm not fucking stupid Y/n!"
Y: "i'm not saying you are! you're just assuming i'm not fucking fine. which i am by the way if you haven't heard me a thousand fucking times!"

you look out the window and push away the tears that are fighting to come out.

A: "Y/n look at me."
Y: "what the fuck do you want!?" you look at her
A: "nothing.."
Y: "can we just go back to the station?"
A: "yeah."

she drives back to the station completely forgetting that she asked you to do a case with her and realizing you weren't even supposed to work today

A: "we weren't even supposed to work today what are we doing."
Y: "i don't fucking know. can we just go?"
you get back to the station and go to the change room and get back into your clothes and drive home. Tim texts you.

Timothy 🤭❤️

-hey where did you go?

i just went home. i didn't feel like
going anywhere I'm sorry.-

-don't be sorry.
-it's not your fault anyway

pretty sure it is.-

-what??

i did it again..-

-i'm on my way.

"for god sakes. why did i tell him? fuck."

within 5 minutes Tim is at your door knocking. you go open the door and he engulfs you into a hug

T: "what happened?"
Y: ...
T: "baby?"
you snap out of your thoughts
Y: "n-nothing.."
T: "talk to me baby, what's wrong?"
Y: "i-i did it again.."
T: "you did what?"
Y: ...
T: "baby what's wrong?"
Y: "i cut myself again.."

he hugs you again and you start crying

T: "hey, look at me. don't cry, it's not your fault. okay?"
Y: "but it- it is my fault."
T: "no it's not baby."

you let go of him and walk to the couch with him

T: "why did you do it?"
Y: "i don't know.."

he hugs you and you end up falling asleep

Tims POV:
i look down and she fell asleep. i kiss her forehead and text Angela

Angela

hey Ang, i don't know if i can come tonight.-

-that's alright. what happened?

Y/n relapsed..-

-oh shit. is she okay?

i don't know. she fell asleep in my arms
crying.-

-poor girl.

i know. she won't tell me why
she did it.-

-oh. i might know why..

why?-

-she got pissed off at me..

oh-

-yeahhh..
-i'm sorry i made you have to deal
with that. if you want i can come
over and help?

no it's good, i don't think she
wants to see anyone else.-

-okay.

Y/n's POV:
Y: "Tim?"
T: "what's up?"
Y: "nothing just making sure you're still here."
T: "of course i am babe."
Y: "you know i love you right?"
T: "yes i do. and i love you too" he smiles

a few hours later Tim leaves

*i feel so stupid. why do i do this to myself?*

you grab a bottle of pills from your medicine cabinet and open it. you take a deep breath before putting all of the pills in your mouth. you get a glass of water and start drinking it whilst swallowing all of the pills. you get a text from Angela

Angela.

-hey, i'm sorry for earlier.. i
feel really bad.
7:45pm
-Y/n??
7:48pm

you stare at your phone wanting to answer so you do

Angela..-
-what? i'm seriously sorry..

no.. its not that.. i um did something..-

-i'm coming over.

no don't worry about it i'll be fine.-

Angela leaves you on read and you start to cry whilst sitting on the ground in the bathroom.
your vision starts to go blurry and soon enough you see black

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