Y/n Diaz, the new rookie

i don't know whats wrong

⚠️TW: self-harm⚠️

Angela's POV:
i look down and realize Y/n is sleeping.
A: "look how cute she is"
W: "adorable" he laughs
A: "i really hope she's okay. she's really struggling Wes.. and i don't know how to help her.."
W: "she'll find her way out of this Ang."
A: "i guess you're right. i'm getting tired can we go to bed?"
W: "yeah of course."

Y/n's POV:
you wake up and realize you're alone. you check the time and it's only 12:33am.
"god how long was i sleeping?"
you get up and go to the bathroom to take a shower. you take your clothes off and stare at yourself. you take the blade out of your phone case and stare at it before deciding to finally throw it out.
"god i'm so fat."
"no no no, i can't do this again."
you sigh and get in the shower. when you're done it's 1:15am so you quickly change and walk out of the bathroom. you hear someone crying and walk downstairs to see that it's Angela.
Y: "what's wrong?"
A: "oh hey, it's nothing.."
Y: "talk to me. i know it's not nothing."
A: "it's really nothing i don't know why i'm crying."
Y: "alright. you should go back to bed."
A: "i guess so." she walks away

Angela's POV:
i walk upstairs to the bathroom and sit on the floor. i start to feel sick and throw up into the toilet. from the corner of my eye i see Y/n's blade in the trash. i grab it out of the trash can and stare at it before pressing it onto my thigh. i do one cut when i realize this isn't the way to cope with things. i quickly throw it back in the trash can and get up and go back to my bedroom. as soon as i hit the bed i passed out.

Y/n's POV:

you watch Angela walk to the bathroom and shut the door. you hear her throw up and just ignore it because she's probably just not feeling well. you go sit back on the couch and lay down. you fall asleep within minutes.

in the morning you wake up and realize you have work today. you check the time and realize it's 6:19am so you go to the bathroom and change and do your makeup. when your done it's 6:38am so you go back to the couch and wait for Angela and Wesley to wake up.

A: "morning" she groans
Y: "morning sleepyhead" you laugh
W: "morning"
Y: "good morning kind sir." you laugh
when Angela is finished getting ready it's 7:30am so she quickly has something to eat and you guys leave. the drive to the station is silent. when you get to the station you walk to the change room and change into your uniform.
L: "morning" she smiles
Y: "morning" you smile
you and Lucy walk to the roll call room and sit down. Grey comes in and explains the day and you walk away to get the war bags.
A: "hey sorry about last night i just wasn't feeling well."
Y: "i thought so. i heard you throw up."
she drives away from the station
A: "so, it's your last week of being a rookie.. how do you feel?"
Y: "i'm excited to be a P2 but kind of scared."
A: "it's normal to be scared."
Y: "i guess so.." you sigh
a few hours later it's lunch
A: "we going to the station?"
Y: "uhh sure"
she drives to the station and parks the car. you walk into the station and go to the break room and sit down.
Y: "hey can i talk to you?" you look at Lucy
L: "yeah of course."
you both walk out of the room and walk away
Y: "how's Tim?"
L: "he seems fine, why?"
Y: "oh uh- just wondering."
L: "you're not thinking of getting back with him are you?"
Y: "what! of course not!!" you whisper yell
L: "ookay" she says sarcastically
you roll your eyes as you both walk back into the room and you ask Tim if you can talk to him.
Y: "how are you? really."
T: "i'm fine." he walks away
you sigh and go sit in the break room next to Lucy
A: "ready to go?"
Y: "yeah"
you walk out to the shop and get in. Angela lets you drive since it's your last week as a rookie.
a few hours later your shift is over and you go home. when you get home you just sit down and cry. you check the time and it's already 7:30pm so you grab a snack and go to your room, you eat the snack and fall asleep.
you wake up in the morning and you can't get out of bed because you have no motivation to. you eventually get up and just stand in front of your mirror staring at yourself.
"why, why do i look like this?" you start to cry
you could stand there for hours just staring at yourself but you decide to move away from the mirror and take a bath. you start the bath whilst avoiding looking in the mirror at all. your bath is finally full and you just sit in the burning hot water.
"i shouldn't even be here. i shouldn't be alive." you sob

A/N!! sorry for the short chapter. i don't really know what to write!

word count 922