Y/n Diaz, the new rookie

im sorry this is goodbye

⚠️MAJOR TW: detailed suicide, self-harm⚠️

*time skip to a little later in the day*
you decide that you can't take it anymore and write letters to all of your friends saying that you're sorry. the first one is for Tim.

Dear Tim,
you have been the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. i love you so much and i'm sorry for making you feel like you had to make me not suffer alone, you did that by cutting yourself. i really wish you never did that, there's no going back now Tim. why? because it's an addiction. addictions don't just go away. that's why they're called addictions. anyways.. i'm sorry for having to write this note to you. i'm sorry i didn't talk to you or anyone. i'm sorry.
goodbye.
love, Y/n.

Dear, Lucy
you have been my best friend since i met you in the academy. you've been there for me since the academy. you've helped me through so much, and i wish i could say i did the same for you. but i cant, because i didn't. i really wish i didn't have to be writing this letter to you but i am. i'm sorry for leaving like this. i just can't take it anymore. i love you so much Luce.
love, Y/n.

Dear, Angela
you have been my best friend since my first day as a rookie. i love you for actually liking me for me. i love you so much. i'm sorry for telling you this on a letter but i know that you cut yourself that night i stayed at your house. i'm sorry i didn't tell you that i knew. please don't do it again Ang, i love you so much. i'm sorry for having to write this letter to you. i just can't take it anymore. i'm sorry this is goodbye. i'm sorry. i love you.
love, Y/n.

Dear, Sergeant Grey
you are like a father to me. i know i'm only a rookie and i've just got to this station only a year ago, but i still see you as a father. i love that you try and get me to eat. i love that you try and keep me clean for as long as possible and i love that you are willing to help me. i'm sorry for writing this letter to you but i have to. i just can't take it anymore. i'm sorry this is goodbye. i'm sorry.
love Y/n.

you finally finish writing to everyone and it's already 5pm so you just sit on your bed and read over the letters and start to cry.
you continue reading over them for a few hours until every single word from every single letter is engraved in your brain.
you're still crying but just continue to lay in your bed when your phone goes off. it's Tim.

Tim

-hey wanna come over
for drinks?

i can't tonight sorry.-

-everything okay?
-you usually always say
yes to drinks.

everything is fine.-

-alright. you can talk to
me, you know that right?

i know :) -

-okay have a good night.

you too.-

Tim's POV:

i stare at her text starting to worry. she usually always says yes to drinks. i think something is wrong so i text Angela

Angela

hey Ang, i think something
is up with Y/n.-

-what do you mean?

she said no to drinks-
that's not like her.-

-wow Y/n saying no
to drinks? now that's
weird.