Y/n Diaz, the new rookie

leave me alone

⚠️TW: self-harm, eating disorder⚠️

when you wake up you go to your bathroom and look in the mirror
"this needs a shit ton of makeup."
you sigh and start to do your makeup and change into black leggings and a red hoodie. you finish getting ready and drive to work. when you get there you go straight to the locker room.
L: "hey, how are you?"
Y: "i'm doing okay."
L: "that's good." she smiles
Y: "let's go."
you walk to roll call and sit down in your usual seats. Grey explains the day and dismisses everyone.
A: "go get the war bags. i'll be back."
Y: "okay." you get the war bags and put them in the trunk of the shop and close it before getting in the passenger side of the shop. a few minutes later Angela comes back with food and water.
Y: "what's the food for?"
A: "you."
Y: "i'm not a child Angela. i can eat on my own."
A: "but you're not. that's the problem."
Y: "fine i'll eat."
you eat the food as she drives around the streets.
eventually lunch time comes around and you go back to the station to eat. you spot Tim going to the break room and go to follow him since you usually eat in there. when you get there it's silent, you could hear a pin drop. you sit down next to Angela and eat your apple that you brought from home
L: "come with me for a minute."
you follow her outside of the break room
Y: "what's up?"
L: "did you see Tim's wrist?"
Y: "what? no?"
L: "we'll go back in and you look."
you both walk back in and sit down. you look at his wrist and look back at Lucy with a 'what the fuck.' look. you quickly walk out of the room worried that you made him do this but Tim follows you
T: "Y/n."
Y: "what the fuck Tim."
T: "what?"
Y: "never mind." you throw your arms in the air and walk away and go to the bathroom and throw up your apple you just ate and the food Angela got you earlier. you walk back to the break room like nothing happened and sit next to Angela.
A: "you good?"
Y: "perfectly fine." you lie plainly
L: "you sure?"
Y: "i'm fine. just leave me alone." you get up and walk back to the bathroom and take your blade out of your phone case. you look at it for a minute before pressing it into your warm skin and cutting. you don't know how many you made but when you were done your arms were covered in blood. you quickly clean it up and put some water on your arms and walk out of the bathroom. you go back to the break room even though you don't want to. you go sit on a couch and watch TikTok on your phone.
A: "Y/n come on."
you look up and get off the couch and walk to the shop behind Angela.
A: "what's your fucking problem today?"
Y: "nothing."
A: "that's bullshit Y/n."
Y: "i'm fine. let's go."
she eventually gives in and drives around.
Dispatch: "7-Adam-19 we have a noise complaint at 211 Dixon Drive."
A: "7-Adam-19 show us responding."
she drives to the location with no lights or sirens since it's only a minor call.
Y: "LAPD we got a noise complaint?"
Lady: "yes! it's my neighbours! they've been playing loud music for hours!"
A: "alright we'll go check it out."
you and Angela walk over to the neighbours house and knock on the door.
Man: "what can i do for you officers?"
Y: "we got a noise complaint."
A: "could you turn the music down sir?"
Man: "fine. yo guys turn it down!"
Y: "thank you sir."
Man: "whatever bye." he slams the door
you and Angela walk away and back to the shop.
Angela starts to drive back to the station. once you get there you finally break the silence.
Y: "why are we back here?"
A: "you need to talk to Grey."
Y: "why? i'm fine!"
A: "no you're not Y/n. you literally threw up your food before we left."
Y: "i didn't!"
A: "bullshit i heard you after i walked into the bathroom after you."
Y: "oh my fucking god can't you just leave me the hell alone?!"
A: "no! i'm worried about you."
Y: "fine i'll go talk to Grey!"

you get out and walk to Sergeant Greys office. you knock on the door and he tells you to come in.

Y: "hi sir."
G: "Angela tell you to come here?"
Y: "yeah- wait how did you know?"
G: "she came and told me."
Y: "oh."
G: "why don't you take a seat."
you sit down and he starts talking
G: "you need to stop doing this Diaz. you need to get better."
Y: "i'm trying to! i've just had a rough day."
G: "what's happened today?"
Y: "just a lot of arguing with people."
G: "i see. is everything alright with you and Bradford? i saw you guys arguing earlier."
Y: ...
G: "Diaz?"
you can hear him but you don't want to answer that question because you loved Tim so much.
G: "Diaz? did something happen?"
you finally divide to answer him
Y: "i'm fine." you get up and walk out.
G: "i didn't say you could go!" he yells but you just keep walking away.
you go sit in the change room and cry in front of your locker. someone comes in and you realize it's Nyla Harper, Jackson's new TO.
N: "you alright?"
Y: "yep."
N: "no you're not."
Y: "please just leave me alone." you sob
N: "alright." she walks away

by the time you stop crying it's now end of shift. so you change and drive home. when you get home you just sit on the couch and cry. you hear your phone start to ring and just stare at it. you see that it's Lucy calling you but still just stare at it. when it stops ringing you sigh. you go to your room and change into pjs, you get into bed and fall asleep.

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