Y/n Diaz, the new rookie

im trying..

⚠️TW: self-harm, mentions of self-harm and eating disorders, purging⚠️

A: "let's just get this over with."
Y: "you're right, i just need to get this done with.."
*you walk into the station and see Lucy and Jackson*
Lucy: "OMG HI! where have you been all day?!"
Y: "i was uh- at the hospital.."
Jackson: "wait why what happened??
Y: "i'll tell you guys later."
Lucy: "alright bye!!"
*you walk over to Sergeant Greys office and knock*
Grey: "come in"
Grey: "hey, i heard you were at the hospital what happened?"
Y: "i uh- i passed out"
Grey: "from what?"
Y: "i hadn't eaten in- two days.."
Grey: "Oh, is there anything else i should know?"
Y: "i um- haven't documented all of my scars."
Grey: "alright would you like to do it now?"
Y: "yes please, could Angela help me?"
Grey: "yes she can"
*you and Angela go to the locker room and start taking pictures*
Y: "these ones aren't gonna be pretty so i'm apologizing now. i'm sorry"
A "it's okay Y/n/n."
*you show her your wrist and she looks so upset that she didn't see this*

Angela's POV:
when i saw her wrist i was shocked with a sudden wave of sadness because i hadn't seen that she was going through so much. Then i saw her thighs which were worse..
Y: "Angela..?"
A: "huh? sorry"
Y: "i'm sorry you have to see this.." she started crying oh god what do i do.
A: "It's okay. i'm sorry"
Y: "what are you sorry for? there's nothing to be sorry for Ang.."
* We finish taking the pictures and print them and give them to Grey*

Y/n's POV:
I felt so bad that my TO had to see that. she's gonna treat me differently now. and make sure i eat which i don't want that. definitely not.
Grey: "alright thank you Y/n for telling me and deciding to do this today."
Y: "of course, i couldn't keep it any longer because i had to come tell you why i was at the hospital and stuff so i just decided to tell you now."
Grey: "would you like to finish the shift or go home for the rest of the day?"
Y: "i'll finish my shift if that's okay."
Grey: "alright. Angela are you going to finish your shift?"
A: "yeah i will."
*you finish your shift and invite Jackson and Lucy over for drinks and decide to tell them what happened*
J: "so? what happened why were you in the hospital?
Y: "um, so promise you guys won't see me differently.."
L: "of course not, we love you Y/n."
J: "you're literally family."
Y: "Okay.. so- um. basically i passed out because- i hadn't eaten in two days.. and i had lost a lot of blood.."
L: "omg come here" she starts to tear up
J: omg y/n/n, why didn't you tell us? you know we love you and you can talk to us."
Y: "i'm sorry it's- it's just embarrassing.."
L: "never be embarrassed of things that you put yourself through Y/n. you know when i was around 14 my friends were telling me i was fat and telling me to starve.. and- i did but i've gotten past that. if anyone can get past this it's you."
Y: "i love you guys. thank you so much."
*the three end up drinking A LOT and decide to go to sleep*

Y: "omg my head is poundinggg"
L: "good morning sleepyhead" she laughs
Y: "shut up my head is pounding"
J: "you're awake! only took you an hour!"
Y: "You guys have been up for an hour!?"
L: "yes ma'am we have"
Y: "god you guys are early birds and i hate it. also do we work today?"
J: "no dumbass" we all laugh at his reply
Y: "don't be so snarky! god i need some Tylenol, Lucy can you get me some?"
L: "yeah of course"
*Lucy goes and gets Tylenol and a glass of water"
Y: " ugh your the best"
*time skip to later in the day*
L: "we should get going now."
Y: "okay, i'll see you guys tomorrow"
J: "byeee"
Y: "bye guys"
*you get sad now that they left and start to feel urges to self-harm but ignore them and go shower.*
*after your shower*
"omg i'm so bored. ITS ONLY 5:30?!"
"ughhhhh what do i do now? go nap for the rest of the day and be tired tomorrow? like what?"
*you decide to make some dinner and have some spaghetti*
"god this is so good"
*you start to realize how much you ate and run to the toilet and start throwing all of your food up. you start crying because of how bad the urges are and cave in, you get your blade out of your vanity and start cutting
*you decide to cut your thighs so it wouldn't be as obvious*
1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 cuts
5 cuts
6 cuts
7 cuts
8 cuts
you lost count and passed out because of how many cuts you had and how much blood you were losing.
"mmmm, what happened?"
*you look at your wrists and realize what happened*
"shit. ummm i need to clean this up"
you get up and feel dizzy but lean against the counter and regain your balance. you find your phone and realize it's 10:27pm, you realize you were passed out for 3 hours and see an bunch of texts and missed calls from Angela.

Angela❤️

-hey, was wondering if you want to come over and have some drinks?
5:57pm
-Y/n?
6:29pm
-Y/n you're starting to worry me.. why aren't you answering your phone?
7:49pm
-Y/n/n?? come on answer me please
8:43pm
-Y/n i'm coming over you better be alive.
10:23pm

Ang i'm okay i uh fell asleep -

-Jesus Christ Y/n you scared the shit out of me. You sure you're okay?

Yeah i'm fine. -

- okay but i'm actually here now so come let me in.

*you go let her in*
A: "you scared the shit out of me Y/n.
Y: "i know i'm sorry.
A: "you've been crying. what's up?"
Y: "is it really that obvious.."
A: "no but i'm a cop. you should know not to lie."
Y: "right. yeah i'm fine just had a rough night."
A: "you sure? you can talk to me and i'll listen."
Y: "i'm fine. you can go sorry i made you come all this way just to find out i was sleeping."
A: "it's fine i asked if you wanted to hang out anyway."
Y: "right well i guess it's too late to drink now. since it's like what 11?"
A: "yep. anyways i should go since we have shift tomorrow."
Y: "you can stay if you want i wouldn't mind having your company."
A: "alright I'll stay, i can sleep on the couch."
Y: "you're not sleeping on the fucking couch. you can use the guest room if you want."
A: "jesus how many rooms are in this house?"
Y: "too many to count" you both laugh
A: "we should get to bed"
Y: "yeah i'll see you in the morning"
A: "night"
Y: "night" you smile
*you go to your bathroom to change and realize there is still blood on the floor and clean it up. once your done cleaning it's already 11:30pm so you go to bed and get some sleep*
A: "morning sleepyhead"
Y: "god why does everyone call me a sleepyhead it getting annoying"
A: "oopsie" she shrugs
Y: "i'm gonna go change and then we can get going"
A: "you want anything to eat?"
Y: "Not super hungry but ill get something on the way"
A: "okay.."
*you go do your makeup and put a long sleeve crop top on to cover your scars and some sweats to cover your cuts from last night.*
Y: "okay i'm ready"
A: "okay let's go"
*you arrive at the station and have 10 minutes before shift starts and head to the change rooms to change into your uniform. you go to the roll call room and Grey explains today and dismisses everyone*
A: "okay let's go. you got the war bags?"
Y: "yeah."

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