omori oneshots, preferences and hcs

maybe there is something to remember you by?

srry for long title, it sounds cool!!

continuation(?) of "nothing to remember you by" 

Aubrey's dead (or is she?), the reader is grieving, but what about the other characters?? 

(day/month/year)

1/4/20XX 

It has been weeks since Aubrey's accident: coincidentally, Mari also died around the same time as Aubrey. Connecting the dots, that's probably what the nurse was calling for. I couldn't help but hold a one sided grudge against that nurse. If she didn't call, Aubrey would have never gotten in that accident. If Sunny didn't accidentally push Mari she wouldn't be in the hospital and the nurse wouldn't have called. I'm still in denial. These past few weeks have been rough. Aubrey's short conversation with the nurse kept replaying in my head like a VHS tape. "Yeah, I'll be right there" 

Why? Maybe if I had intervened and asked her what she was doing up so early, she would have gotten embarrassed and immediately let the idea go. Maybe if I had said something or shown her I was clearly awake she wouldn't have gone. I still catch myself thinking of alternate things that could have happened. Every so often I find myself thinking of people to blame for the accident; so I have a justifiable reason to be angry. Realistically, thinking of it as just an "unfortunate tragedy" isn't enough. It doesn't satisfy me. Her death being ruled as an "freak accident" makes me angry beyond belief, but I sort of have no reason to. No one planned her death, it was just an accident after all. Putting the blame on others puts me at ease because I can at least distract myself from the thought that I could have prevented this. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Sometimes I even try to convince myself she'll come back and say this was all a sick joke. I'm so glad no one besides me will ever read this. 

8/4/20XX

Maybe if I promise to do something difficult I'll get her back? What if I promise to stop rotting in my bed with her helmet beside me, will she come back? I promise to do anything for Aubrey to jump into my arms again. A few days ago Kel came to my house. I told him about my plan of bargaining for Aubrey to come back. He told me that I need to face reality and stop making excuses for Aubrey's death. I think he's right. 

20/4/20XX (4/20 haha) 

An hour after I wrote the entry before this I gave up. I stopped believing she would come back and I started to finally give myself a reality check. She's gone, it's not fake, she's never coming back, and I can't do anything about it. I thought about it, and I have two options; bounce back and finally accept what happened or be depressed about it and bitch and moan. I decided to bitch and moan. Accepting would mean all this time grieving, all this time I have spent upset about her would have been for nought. I saw something earlier that made me rethink everything I have ever known: that the reason we don't want to get better is because we find comfort in our own pain if that's what you have been experiencing for a long time. I guess a month and a half is a while but not super long. To be completely honest, I don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I mean, obviously it must have been when I was with Aubrey but bitching and moaning about her death has done nothing but made me forget. You know what, Aubrey's birthday is in a month. I'm going to accept what happened and get better for her! I know she would probably tease me for being this emotional over her death. 

23/5/20XX

Haha, looking back it was obvious I wouldn't get better. I find too much comfort in the familiar feeling of numbness. I wish I did actually get better, because I don't reallyyyyy wanna do this. Like I don't mind but ah well. I've had enough of this shit. Fuck grieving, fuck denial, fuck anger, fuck bargaining, fuck depression, fuck acceptance.  I'm just tired. I want to go home.

.

    .

        .

           . 

"Hey Basil, did you find it yet?" 

"Yeah, I think so" 

Basil picked up a thick book that was a mess of stickers and paint on the cover. He carefully opened up the first page and saw diary entries that didn't make any sense. Quickly scanning through the paragraphs of writing, he closed the book and sighed. 

"I assume there was nothing written as to why they did it?" 

"No, no motive or anything. They didn't even write that they were planning on it" 

"Guess it's just another unfortunate tragedy then"

if i was pissed abt someones death being called an unfortunate tragedy and my death was called that i would be rolling in my grave and haunting the person 

take a good look at underlined words, particularly on the last diary entry, and the order. anything familiar?

and to answer the final question, no. there isnt anything to remember her by.