Without Him.

Chapter 6

Being walked over hurts especially from the people you love. One thing this man has taught me is that love in painful and it hurts and it's  unpredictable but I love love and I hate that I love him too . Even with what I know .....seeing him stand infront of me right now makes me feel a certain way ,a way I can't explain. He makes me feel certain things, things that I need to feel always.

NALEDI: Just open the door so I can leave . Please...
My mouth ran dry, a lump in my throat began to form ,knots twisted in my stomach...

ZWIDE: What happened can't fucking speak? ...I cant hear you!

NALEDI: Zwide...

ZWIDE: No! Talk back,ngithuke...go off!(swear at me)

NALEDI: I just want to go...

ZWIDE: No...Naledi! Speak up.
I do nothing but to look down in shame. Why you may ask...I don't even know.

NALEDI: I ..I'm sorry.

ZWIDE:For what?

NALEDI: For going off at you.
He grabbed me by the waist ,drawing me closer to his masculine scent.

My knees fell weak. His grip tightened around my waist ,keeping me up.

Tears found themselves falling out my eyes.

ZWIDE: Sthandwa Sam....
His thumb gently wiped the tear off my face.

He picked me up and placed me on the study table.
His eyes ogled my messed up face.

ZWIDE: Look at me...

My hands played with the hems of his shirt ,unbuttoning it. Once the material was out of the way ,my hands caressed his chest ,simply admiring his body.

NALEDI: Why me? Huh,you could've chosen anyone else but instead you wanted me.

A small smile crept on his lips and quickly faded away. He slowly stripped the gown off of my body.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and planted a well needed kiss on his lips.

ZWIDE: You're my life mama.Ngithathe nginjengoba nginjalo. Ngizophila impilo yami yonke ngibuyisela ubuhlungu engibubangele empilweni yakho. ( Take me as I am. I'll live my entire life restoring the hurt I've caused in your life)

NALEDI: We.... I can't.

ZWIDE: Only if you let me.

NALEDI: Zwide...I know you're not perfect and I don't expect you to be because I'm not perfect either.  I know committing to you is ...a risk. I'm willing to take it. I'm willing to commit to you Zwide.  I'm willing to give myself to you now ,tomorrow and forever....

ZWIDE: Naledi....
I proudly shut him up ,taking his lips in for a kiss. Zwide being Zwide, was quick to dominate it. Him taking me and making me his is one of my favorite activities if you know what I mean.

Yes he killed my parents and yes I still love him and yes he's still my fiancé.

I'm never letting go.