All Or Nothing

New Beginnings

                     •Chicago 2 Months Later•

After I shot Damian I fled to Chicago that very night leaving everything and everyone behind. I just couldn't live in Atlanta anymore , I needed a fresh start. I got rid of my old phone so Andy and John couldn't track me and deleted my social media. I haven't even spoken to Kayla. I miss Andy but sometimes we gotta let go of feeling like we need someone and that's what I had to do... I just hope they got Lola and everyones doing okay.

Last week I did receive good news , the doctor said my voice should fully recover in a few weeks , he choked me so hard he damaged my vocal cords I wasn't able to speak fully for two months but I've been getting by slowly but surely. I also been getting random nightmares from that night at least once a week. I didn't want to kill him but he was choking me to death what was I supposed to do, let him kill me and get away with disrespecting my mother?! Id kill him again before I let that happen.

I also been staying in and out of my car/ hotels. I don't wanna get my own place because I'm not sure if I wanna be here long but I have been looking to rent a room , I've came across a lot of creeps tho so I'm not sure what's gonna go down but I do have a feeling I will be okay thank god I got money !

"Can I get two slices of pizza and this sprite" I say as my voice cracks and sounds extremely raspy. "I'm sorry sir can you repeat that" he says looking up at me through the glass window , "nigga im a female and I said can I get two slices of pizza and this sprite" I say trying to speak up as I point to the sprite and clear my throat *ehhmm*  "OH sorry ma'am , yes that will be $9.67" I give him $10 bucks . "It'll be ready in 5 minutes" he says I nod my head and throw the rest of the change in the Tip jar and get out of line.

My food finally gets done and I grab it and walk back to my car. I head back to the hotel I was staying at . I get to my room and put the key card in *clicks* the door unlocks and I walk in. I pull my pizza out and I get to eating it as I watch a Tyler perry movie that was playing .

I get done eating and decide I was gonna go down to the bar they had here at the hotel. Especially since I didn't have a drink in almost a month. I get dressed and throw my shoes on. I just put on a black polo tee some black Nike sweat pants a white hoodie and my
Black and white dunks I just recently brought.

I walk to the bathroom mirror and look up at myself. I stare at my eyes and look deeply seeing the pain and hurt that's just been building up for years , not having someone to talk to hurts . I shake my thoughts away and I spray my polo cologne on and head out the door making sure it was fully closed before I got on the elevator.

I get down there and it's pretty packed for a hotel . They had big flat screens everywhere with a football game playing , I hear them playing lil durk . "Oh I'm in the right place" I say to myself as I walk in smiling . I look around and see people on the dance floor getting down and they have on white dresses and suits and ties , looks like they just came from a wedding . I see people at booths sitting down eating , and there's people at the bar just getting fucked up.

"Hey what's up what can I get ya tonight " the bartender walks up to me saying as take i look at what they got on the shelf's . "Let me get 4 tequila shots" I say as my voice cracks. He looks at me confused and I instantly know he didn't hear me , I put my pointer finger up indicating that I need a second . I pull my phone out and type on my notes "4 tequila shots" I finish typing and show him my phone . "Okay coming right up" he says and he goes and fetches the tequila. I turn around on the stool and take a look around . "Here you are ma'am" he says i mouth the words thank you and I take a shot back and suck on my lemon. "Whew" I say as my voice cracks *ehhm* I clear my throat.

I take two more shots back quickly and suck on my lemon . I look up at the tv they got hanging on the wall above me and I watch the game. I take my last shot back and wave for the bartender to come over. He leans on the counter and patiently waits for me to type on my phone "4 more please" i show him it and he immediately starts pour my glasses up.

After I finish those last shots I decided that was enough for me , I give the man $45 bucks and head to the elevator. I click the button to the 12th floor and the door starts to close until I see a hand slide the door back. I lean back against the wall and I see a stud walk in with a girly girl. The fem girl clicks the button to the 9th floor as they stand in front of me. The stud reaches over and grabs the fems ass "Cyrus stopp" she says giggling and leaning closer to the stud .

As we get to their floor the door swings open , the fem walks out first I take a quick glance at her ass as she walks away , "Bitch keep ya eyes in its sockets " she says snapping at me "my fault I ain't mean no harm" i say sounding raspy . "Yea aight next time ima fuck ya ass up on foe n em grave" she heads out the elevator watching it close i hurry up and stick my middle finger up. "Fuckin bitch" I whisper to myself as the elevator takes off to my floor I couldn't even get a good look on who the stud was because I was tore up, I just wanted to get some rest. I finally get in my room get undressed , and go to bed.