Heaven, Hell, and Earth

Chapter 63

Warning, mentioning of rape and child abuse.

Charlie thought she had woken up from the most wonderful dream. A dream that made her heart feel so warm and aglow. She dreamed that Alastor had held her in his arms and spent the night keeping her safe and loved. It was so perfect that for a moment, she believed that it had been real. But when she awoke in her bed alone, she convinced herself that it had to be a dream. It made her sad, cause as wonderful as those dreams were, they weren't real. They were just a fantasy. A cruel fantasy.

But it did confirm something for her. Something that she had been trying to deny and ignore for years. But at this point, there was no use doing either anymore.

"I can't have a life without them." She thought. "And I don't want a life without them. My family has always been there for me, since the beginning. How could I even think of just going out and living free in the world unless they're with me? And Alastor..."

She put her hand over her heart, feeling it beat fast and glow like a star as she thought of him.

"Oh why do I always do this to myself? Just when I think I'm finally getting over him, I just fall for him all over again. Why can't my heart just let go? He will never love me that way and I need to accept that. For both our sakes."

Sometimes she wished that she could rip her heart out. Ripped it out and bury it in the ground. Cause all the love in her heart was the reason she kept feeling the constant pull to leave behind the desire for a normal life and stay at the organization. Things would be so much easier if she didn't have a heart. But at the same time, if she hadn't no heart, than she wouldn't be herself anymore. She wouldn't be capable of empathy or compassion or love, and that would turn her dark. Dark enough to use her powers for evil. To kill. To kill anyone, even her own family. God that was the one thing she couldn't allow to happen. She'd rather die and burn in hell for all eternity than let that happen.

After taking a moment to stretch, she got out of bed and started to get ready for the day. She met Vaggie at breakfast yet found it peculiar that the boys weren't here. Well, Angel missing breakfast wasn't too unusual, he would always sleep in late if he could get away with it. But Alastor never missed breakfast. He was an early bird and he had an appetite that was triple that of what an elephant eats.

"Where's Alastor?" She asked Vaggie. "It's not like him to be late."

"He's not late." Vaggie answered. "When I got here, the coffee maker had already been used. He got up way earlier than usual."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I didn't see him."

"Could something be wrong with him?"

"If that was the case, I highly doubt he would have time to stop for a cup of coffee. He probably got up to go hunting again. He still does that you know."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Charlie said, dismissing her concerns.

Charlie poured herself another cup of coffee and decided to eat a little something sweet with it. But when she opened the pastry dish, she gasped.

"What is it?" Vaggie asked.

"Vaggie, all the biscotti is gone."

"What?"

She stood up and went to check the case herself. Nothing remained of the almond biscuits except crumbs.

"Holy shit you're right."

Now it just so happened that biscotti was one of Angel's favorite breakfast foods and if it was gone already then that meant he had eaten it, and that he had gotten up earlier than what was required.