Off Track (Ransom Drysdale AU) 18+

16

Sutton

To say that I feel as though I'm about to shit my pants is an understatement. I'm currently standing around the corner from Barbara Levinson's home and the nerves have kicked in - even the Red Bull I drank earlier hasn't given me any energy.

I've only been here a couple of times when visiting in the past with Ari, but now it feels strange just to be here alone. Barbara has lived in this home since she married Lloyd's dad, Richard. Now he's gone and so is her son, also now she never sees Lloyd so she's alone.

Finally plucking up the courage, I walk to the gates and press the buzzer, waiting until I hear her voice. "Hello?"

"Hi, erm...you might not remember me, but it's Sutton Giles?"

"Sutton? How on earth could I not remember you? Let me open the gate". The buzzer sounds again and the gates open slowly. I walk through them and up the driveway to the large home that was once filled with life. Barbara is already waiting for me at the door with a kind smile. "Sutton, look at you - it's been a while, come in".

I feel at ease now I know she's not gonna tell me to fuck off. "I didn't know whether you'd be angry with me. I've not exactly kept in touch". I admit as I walk in and follow her through to the living room.

"Don't be silly". She waves it off, "I'm just glad to see you. Coffee?" She asks and I nod, offering to make it but she declines.

I look around the room while she heads to the kitchen, seeing a sideboard with picture frames. I go to look at them. One is of Ari that I took after he won the championship. I gave it to her when he died as I knew she loved it a lot. There's a few of Richard and her. One of the whole family. The last is a candid one of Ari and me. I'm a little surprised that she actually has it up.

"I always liked that". She almost makes me jump as she sees me looking at it.

"Me too". I smile and turn away from it. "Didn't think you'd have it up considering..."

She nods in understanding. "Considering he's not here and you're no longer together". I sit down and sip my coffee. "Sutton. You will always be special to me, regardless of what happened".

"But, surely you hate me for moving on?" I ask (even if it's not real).

Barbara shakes her head. "How could I? It wouldn't be fair for you to be alone. We all learn to move on in different ways. Ari wouldn't think any less of you for getting into a new relationship".

"With his former team mate?"

"If you did wonders for Ari, then I can only imagine just what you can do with someone like Ransom". She tells me. "Ari liked him, they got along incredibly well - and I know he's not exactly had the best image for the last year or so. But I believe that you could be just what he needs".

I nod at this. "I worry about him being out there. I'm just scared that something could happen again..."

Barbara drinks some of her coffee. "Something like that? Even you told me before it's rare. It was just unfortunate that it happened to Ari".

Now it's time to get to the point of why I'm really here. "I wanted to ask about Lloyd..."

She grimaces. "I see, what is it?"

"I erm, well I'm just trying to find out whether what I heard is true? That he offered to pay for Ari's funeral?"

Her face changes and she finally nods in confirmation at this. "Yes, he did. I declined".

"Could I ask why?"

"My pride mainly. I was still hurting that they had argued before Ari died. I told Lloyd that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, that if he was to turn up to the funeral then I'd have him removed. His face was the last that I wanted to see on a day that was emotional. I sort of regret it - not allowing him a chance to maybe grieve. But that's Lloyd. He would've only caused more problems".

"He does regret the things he said. I just happened to speak to him last week in Australia. Not that I wanted to. I just needed to see whether what he told me was true. He's also still paying for the house and stuff?"

"Everything.I wasn't about to argue with him".

I shrug this off. "That's fair. Do you think you'll ever speak to him again?"

She shakes her head. "I'm not sure. Maybe someday I will, but I still need time". Then she looks at me. "Will you forgive him?".

"I can let him make amends. But that's as far as it will go".

"At least one of us should".

I leave her home and head to my hotel a couple of hours later after catching up on what's been going on since we last saw one another.

Sutton: Just left Barbara's - Everything Lloyd said was true.

Ransom: Wow, here was me thinking the dick was lying. What you gonna do?

Sutton: Don't know. Maybe just give him a call, let him say what he needs to and then be done with it. Kinda feel like he needs someone who will actually forgive him.

Ransom: You're a better person than me, I'd have told him to fuck off.

Sutton: What you doing anyway?

Ransom: Got a meeting with my lawyer, the usual boring shit. When you back?

Sutton: Tomorrow evening.

Ransom: Cool. Will see you at the next race then, gotta go - Andy's just arrived.

I look at my phone and then decide to bite the bullet and make the call to finally put everything to rest with Lloyd.

Somehow a weight has lifted from me once I hang up later on.