Off Track (Ransom Drysdale AU) 18+

24

Ransom

My career as I know it is over, and so I went back to the last place that people would actually look for me.

Boston.

I still have my home here, although it's been taken care of by the housekeeper who looked like she'd seen a ghost when I walked through the door. Gotta admit that I really did look like shit though. Thankfully she's asked no questions - not that I'd give her any answers anyway.

At least here no one really bothers me. F1 isn't as big here as it is in Europe so I've actually had some peace - even if my family are near. Thankfully they're unaware I'm back - I'm sure if they were then I'd have Joni banging my door down and telling me I need to cleanse my chakras or some shit like that.

Instead I just switched off, tried to get myself back into a better sense of mind than what I left with - but I couldn't. I've only got worse - and without Sutton? I'm crumbling bit by bit. I never knew how much I depended on her until now.

Fuck this.

I'm Ransom Drysdale. I don't depend on people - I've never had to depend on anyone, but Sutton Giles has changed me in ways I don't even like to admit to myself, and it's fucking frustrating.

I take another swig of beer and then press 'call' - almost wanting to be sick on hearing her voice. I've been trying to psych myself up for this for the last day or so. "I need you, Sutt". Is all I can say, or at least stumble. I've had a few beers today...

"Tell me where you are and I'll be there. Please Hugh - don't push me away or hide from me. We need to talk, not just about what happened in Miami, but about Ari too".

"I don't talk about my feelings Sutt! I'm not that kinda guy!" I lose my temper for no reason. I have short fuse at the best of times, but it's ten times worse since walking out of Vipera and ultimately condemning myself to early retirement.

"Oh fuck your feelings then! It's been two months, so you need to at least have the decency to tell me where you are after you all but ghosted me". She becomes impatient.

I pause. Do I really wanna blow my hiding place? She could bring everyone with her or something. Eventually I decide to come clean.

"Boston. I have a home here".

"Send me the address - I'll be on the first flight out". She says. "And Hugh? Don't do anything stupid until I get there".

I look at the newly empty bottle in my hand. "Can't promise much".

"Just keep yourself alive a little longer please? No offence but you sound drunk and shit".

"Because that's what I am - drunk and shit". I manage to text her the address. "There - there's where I live. Come find meeeeee".

I hear her mutter something and she tells me that she'll be there soon. Meaning I have an extra day's worth of drinking to get through before she gets here and takes it all away.

Once she's gone, I take a look at myself. I'm wearing the same crappy holed up cable knit sweater- but it's my favourite. My hair's a bit of a mess, I haven't slept in...well actually I can't even remember when I got a full nights sleep.

The night before the Miami Grand Prix - that's when.

Overall I look like a sack of crap and know that I need to get rid of the evidence of drinking and perhaps just make myself look like me to convince her that it was actually a mistake.

I don't need her, and I am ok.

**

Sutton's Uber arrives the next evening and I look a far cry from yesterday. I look like the old me.