Tila Tala

VI

“You’re doing well,” Isagani commented.

My heart jumped. “Talaga? I improved?”

“Hmm. Push a bit more pa. But really, in terms of socializing with the students you’ll encounter sa future, hindi ka naman mahihirapan. Kids love people like you... and I know, you love them, too.” He gave me a warm smile that envelopes straight to my heart.

I went home a bit late. Our dismissal is four and I arrived at home at five, also because of Isagani and I’s little tutoring session. He volunteered and that shocked me. Lumapit na lang siya sa akin at diretsong sinabi iyon. I don’t know what to do or to say. Mukhang desidido talaga siyang bumawi kaya pumayag na rin ako.

“Tal, why are you going home a bit late these days?” I watched Mommy cook Daddy’s favorite fish fillet for dinner. I bit my lower lip, weighing if I should or should not tell her. But after all, she is my Mom whom I trust the most.

“‘My, I have something to confess...”

“Say it, my love.” She smiled.

Itinuon ko ang mga siko sa mesa, I cuooed my cheeks using both of my hands. “Isagani and I are now friends... he’s helping me study some that I don’t understand easily. He’s indeed helping me...”

She looked at me as she tilted her head and smiled. “That’s great! You finally made his heart melt, too.”

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag dahil maging si Daddy ay hindi nagalit nang malaman niya iyon. Isagani’s trying his best para bumawi sa nangyari noong huli kahit wala naman siyang kasalanan. And I’m loving it.

Tiffany and I decided to have our ‘me time’ together. Well, we’re really into similar things. Kaya kami sundo dahil ang hilig ng isa ay hilig din ng isa pa. We were both healing when we were having our time with each other.

Pinasadahan ng aking mga daliri ang mga accessories na pinagmamasdan namin ni Tiffany sa isang jewelry shop. “What do you think is a good gift for... a guy?”

“Tala?!” She exaggeratedly squeaked.

Tumawa ako at inayos ang tayo. “Calm down. Ang OA mo. I’m just asking!”

Bigla lang pumasok sa isip ko si Isagani when I saw that bracelet. Puwede siguro iyon, ‘no? Suddenly, I want to give him a gift. Just to show him my appreciation sa pag-intindi at pagtitiis niya sa mga araw na kasama ako. I chuckled in my own thoughts, sana ay mahaba ang pasensiya niya.

“Duh. Who the hell is this guy trying to break your walls, huh? Don’t he ever!” Gigil na aniya. I understand where she is coming from. Tiffany is a best friend.

“Girl, ‘wag idamay lahat ng lalaki. Hindi lahat ay katulad niyang user, mapagpanggap, cheater, halimaw!” I rolled my eyes as I remembered that freaking kid. He’s a kid! Not a man who can be true to his words.

“See? That is why I can’t trust men easily now, Tal. Just protect your precious heart in danger. I don’t want to see you hurting just because you... loved.”

Hurting just because... I loved? That’s scary.

I grew up watching my parents kissing each other goodbye before they left and welcoming with a warm hug when they came home. I grew up watching my parents talk about their concerns and problems so they could fix it as soon as possible. I grew up seeing my parents smiling and laughing with their eyes sparkling in joy with each other by their side. I grew up in a household full of the beautiful side of love.

I never thought love could be this cruel. Love could scare a lot of people who experience the most painful side of it on their own. I wonder, will love also make me experience the dark side of it? With whom and in what way?