Tila Tala

VII

To: Gani
hi, ganiii! happiest birthday to you! I was waiting for you since kanina to arrived but someone said na hindi ka raw pumapasok kapag birthday mo. where are you now, then? I have something for you with me. I want to give it personally and celebrate with you today ^^ (willing to take an absent, hihi)

I am with Tiffany in the cafeteria, still waiting for Isagani’s response. Nawala na ang excitement sa sistema ko at napalitan ng kaunting lungkot, kaba, at pagtataka. He has no one to celebrate with him. Nasaan kaya siya ngayon? Anong ginagawa niya? Bakit wala siya rito? Bakit hindi niya man lang magawang mag-message pabalik?

I don’t even know why I am acting like this! Siguro dahil isa akong kaibigan na gusto siyang makita at mapasaya sa araw ng kaarawan niya... o siguro dahil isa akong tagahangang gustong maging parte ng espesyal na araw niyang ito.

“Mommy... Gani isn’t responding. Maybe, the dinner night with him is canceled.”

[“Baka naman umuwi sa family niya, Tal. It’s his birthday. Malay mo, may mga nakasanayan siyang gawin tuwing kaarawan niya. We can celebrate it again once he comes back.”]

Though, I understand what Mommy is pointing out, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang malungkot. I hope, I can be with him sa mga nakasanayan tuwing birthday niya. I really want to be part of it.

“Hi, Tal!”

“Kuya!” I greeted. “Hi, Ate Nesh, Ate Lie, Kuya Kevin!” They are my juniors, also taking education.

“Taking OJT na? That fast? Hala, kinakabahan tuloy ako! Baka isang araw, paggising ko, nag-o-OJT na rin ako.” I pouted.

I don’t really find it nakakakaba. I am more scared that it might be hard and harder for me. Siguro ay dahil hindi pa rin bukal sa puso ko ang pag-aaral ko nito.

Inaya nila akong sumama sa kanila to have an early dinner. Sa huli, sila ang nakasama ko sa hapunan at hindi ang taong inaasahan kong dadaluhan ako sa pagkain sa loob ng bahay namin kasama ang mga magulang ko.

“Thanks for today, Kuya’s and Ate’s...”

“Good luckie, baby girl!”

I went home past six o’clock in the evening. Daddy is waiting for me, leaning at the door with crossed arms.

“Hindi dumating? He asked and I honestly shook my head. “Hindi nag-reply?” Umiling ulit ako. He sighed and gestured for me to go inside with him. “That’s okay, anak. Huwag masyadong damdamin. May susunod pa.”

Isagani did not show up until Friday came. Apat na araw siyang wala at hindi pumapasok sa klase. Walang paramdam kahit sa pagpapadala ng mensahe o sa mga social media accounts. I can’t deny it anymore. Nalulungkot ako’t nag-aalala. Kumakabog palagi ang puso ko na may mabibigat na pintig. Where are you, Gani?

“Girl, ano na? Hinihintay mo pa rin ang text?” Tiffany asked and I nodded. “Redflag!”

“Wala namang kami, Tiff. Wala siyang responsibilidad sa akin.” I explained.

“Kapag ang lalaki, bigla na lang nawawala na parang bula, with no communication or what, malabo ‘yan! So malabo makipag-deal sa mga taong ganiyan. Hindi nila iniisip ang mga tao sa paligid nila. Hindi nila ikino-consider ang mararamdaman ng mga nagmamahal sa kanila kaya ayos lang sa kanilang hindi magparamdam.” She said.

I shook my head. “Maybe he has his own reason kaya gano’n. And he chooses not to tell us that.”

Tiffany beside me released a sigh. I understand Isagani. I know, he’s considering us who cares and loves him. But after weighing things, there is one thing that is more important than people surrounding him. It is Isagani himself.