If only

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SUMMARY:
Maeve breaks up with Spencer after a 3 year relationship. Y/N wonders what life would've been like if she had plucked up the courage to admit her feelings for him 3 years ago.

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Y/N
Ah, Maeve Donovan, the only woman who had managed to capture Spencer's heart and romantic attention.

3 years ago, today, marked a 10 month period of communication between Spencer and Maeve. He told you everything he knew about her through their pay-phone conversations and their letters.

You believed that maybe Maeve was Spencer's soulmate. They seemed to fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces clicking together to build a bigger picture. Every time you saw them together, you watched as Spencer laughed at her jokes and she laughed at his. They discussed obscure topics that - once upon a time - you used to discuss with him.

You were the one he confided in when he feared that Maeve's stalker had found and taken her. It was you who convinced him that he should get the team involved in finding her. You and JJ figured out that the stalker wasn't a man, but a woman and you told Spencer. After talking to her mom, dad and ex-fiancé, Spencer discovered who Maeve's stalker was. You watched as Diane Turner - Maeve's stalker - held a gun to her head, mere moments away from ending her life, and Maeve's life, in a murder-suicide. You were fast enough to draw your gun and shoot Diane in the leg, forcing her to drop her gun and let Maeve go.

You watched with sadness as Maeve and Spencer crawled to each other, not hesitating to kiss for the first time since they 'met'. You felt a hand on your shoulder - Derek's hand - as you watched a tearful meeting and also reuniting of two humans who were seemingly perfect for each other. Derek's hand sat on your shoulder as you tried not show how you were truly feeling. Not wanting to feel useless, you put your gun away and walked over to Diane, arresting her as two E.M.T.'s put her onto a gurney, ready for a trip to the hospital.

Were you slightly jealous that Maeve had managed to capture Spencer's heart and not you? Yes. Who wouldn't fall in love with the nerdy Dr. Reid?

But your time had passed. Your time was 3 years and 10 months ago, and now? Now, Spencer was happy. He was in a happy, loving relationship with his girlfriend, Maeve. Everyone knew you were in love with Spencer. Derek and Emily constantly commented on how you were silly to let Spencer ask someone else out. JJ and Penelope constantly asked you what you thought life would've been like if you had asked Spencer out, instead of Spencer asking Maeve out. Rossi offered you advice on better expressing your feelings (which was ironic, coming from the man who had 3 ex-wives). Hotch didn't care much, only insisting that any relationships between co-workers within the team must be reported to him and Strauss.

Sometimes, you would catch yourself staring at Spencer, watching as he called Maeve every day. You wondered how Maeve felt, having a boyfriend who spent days on end travelling around the country. She must've been extremely understanding to put up with it.

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At 10 AM, an hour after the team started work for the day, Spencer received his normal daily call from Maeve. The call started out fine. He was smiling, happy. But, by the time the call ended, his smile was gone, and replaced by a face of sadness and devastation. From the end of that call, all the way to 4 PM, Spencer didn't say a word. He kept his head down. With your desk being next to his, you could (out of the corner of your eye) see the tears forming in his eyes, the shakiness of his hands. He wasn't okay, but you wanted him to come to you when he was ready.

"Kid, you okay? You've been silent since this morning." Rossi questioned as Spencer quietly focused on his paperwork.

"Yeah. I'd never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to miss the unnecessary statistics." Emily told.

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