Not a pawn

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SUMMARY:
Y/N quits her job after Barnes gives her a tough ultimatum.

Y/N makes an unexpected declaration during a conversation with Spencer.

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Tuesday, 6 PM
"You can either help me find sufficient evidence to disband the BAU, or the director will learn of your decision involving Dr. Reid's murder case." Barnes threatened.

"I thought the Senator told you to back off the BAU?" Y/N questioned.

"I believe there is still time for the Senator...and the director to realise that the bureau will run smoother if the BAU is disbanded and its members - including you - are moved to other departments." Barnes explained.

"That's where you're wrong. I looked at the unit efficiency data recently and do you know what I found? Since I joined the team 12 years ago, the BAU has been the most efficient and effective unit in the entire bureau." Y/N told.

"Do you know why? Because we're a team. A tightly knit family. We all have our roles that we stick to in order to successfully close the cases we get. Even when our cases have hit us hard - Spencer being kidnapped by Hankel, Hotch losing his ex-wife to Foyet, Emily's fake death - we have gotten back up and fought harder to keep going, to keep solving cases, to keep saving lives." Y/N insisted.

"I won't be a pawn in your game. I refuse to let you use me to disband the BAU." Y/N dug through her purse and found the manila envelope, handing it to Barnes.

"You're quitting?" Barnes scoffed.

"I've had that envelope ready since the day you took it upon yourself to disband the BAU - albeit temporarily. Please pass the envelope on to the director." Y/N told.

"And I thought Strauss was bad." Y/N stood up, leaving Barnes' office.

After 12 years of profiling for the BAU, Y/N was done. Y/N had enough.

To clarify, it wasn't the BAU that made Y/N quit. She loved the team, all of whom had become a second family to her. It was Linda Barnes. She was a meaner version of Strauss.

Y/N, Friday
By 4 PM, you were home. Your desk had been cleared. Your resignation letter sat on Emily's desk, waiting for her to read it when she and the team came back from their most recent case - a case they left for while you were in your meeting with Barnes. You said goodbye to Penelope, who begged you not to quit, but eventually you were in the elevator, eyeing the BAU bullpen for the last time with a box full of your belongings in your arms, while your go-bag hung from your shoulder.

You were eyeing your nameplate when a loud knock on your front door echoed throughout the apartment. Seeing Spencer through the peephole, you unlocked the door and let him in.

"You're back. How was the case?" You asked, seeing the upset look on his face.

"It ended as well as it could. And our afternoon was calm, until Penelope alerted Emily to the letter of resignation on her desk, your signature signed at the bottom." Spencer exhaled.

"I'm sorry that I left without saying goodbye to any of you. It wasn't fair." You apologised.

"Why did you quit? Was it something one of us did, or said?" Spencer looked concerned.

"You and the others could never make me quit. In reality, getting to see your faces every day was what helped me remain in the unit for so long." You explained.

"If not me, or our friends, then what?" Spencer sat down, waiting for you to respond.

"Barnes." You admitted, sitting down with him.

"I don't understand." Spencer questioned.

"She was told to back off the BAU, as you remember. But last night she gave me an ultimatum: help her disband the BAU, or a certain decision that I made in the past would be exposed to the director." You revealed, watching as Spencer furrowed his eyebrows.

"What did you do?" Spencer asked.

"Emily made a deal with the local cop when you were arrested. She told him she needed to go at it alone. She promised she'd give him the recording. She was trying to find any evidence that you didn't do it. But what you told her was that you remembered holding the murder weapon." You could still hear the recording in the back of your mind.

"I did?" Spencer's eyes widened.

"The more you talked, the more you incriminated yourself." You added.

"No. I looked through all the case files after I was exonerated. There wasn't a single record of..." Spencer stopped, realising what happened.

"...Emily deleted it." He exhaled.

"She almost didn't. After hearing what you were accused of, and hearing you incriminate yourself on that recording, I couldn't let anyone but Emily and myself hear it. Not if we wanted you to be proven innocent." You felt the tears forming in your eyes.

"You convinced Emily to delete the recording." Spencer clarified.

"I did. We both crossed a line we swore we never would." You nodded.

"Barnes discovered that I had been the only other Agent who knew about and heard the recording." You told.

"It was my decision to get rid of the recording that led me to convince Emily to delete it." You finished, wiping the tears that had rolled down your cheeks.

"Why would you do that? Why would you willingly jeopardise your career like that?" Spencer questioned, confused.

"Because I love you, Spencer." You muttered only loud enough for Spencer to hear.

"Y- You love me?" Spencer was surprised.

"I have loved you since the very first case we were paired together 12 years ago. I never had the courage to say anything before because there were other women in your life you took more of an interest to than me." You nodded.

"You loved me enough to delete potential evidence?" Spencer wasn't angry, or upset. He looked almost...glad.

"We had all been through enough shit and the idea of you being in jail for a crime you didn't commit, it scared me. Even when you were in jail, I prioritised proving your innocence over other cases. Should I have done that, no. But I love you, Spencer. I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't going to add the incriminating recording to the growing pile of evidence against you." By the time you finished talking, your face was inches from his. You could see his gaze dart between your eyes and your lips.

He didn't respond - at least, not verbally. After a few moments of silence, he closed the gap between your lips, gently holding your cheek. For what seemed like eternity, you and Spencer engaged in a gentle, yet passionate kiss.

Pulling away to breathe, Spencer smiled at you.

"I love you too, Y/N. I love you so much, not just because you risked your career to prove my innocence." Spencer placed a small kiss to your lips.

"I don't regret what I did. From the moment I convinced Emily to delete the recording, I haven't once regretted it." You breathed, smiling.

"But, if I stayed in the BAU, I would've been a pawn in Barnes' game. I couldn't let her use me to hurt you or the team." You insisted.

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