Spencer Reid One-Shots

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

SUMMARY:
An amused Y/N tries to explain a song to a confused Spencer.

(Non-canon extended scene from S3 Ep14: Damaged)

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Y/N was one of two people who knew about Penelope's run-in with Rossi in the middle of the night.

"I might be in big trouble." Penelope dragged Y/N into JJ's office, her face laced with concern.

"Come on in." JJ muttered, holding a file in her hands.

"I can't believe he showed up at my apartment." Penelope paced, confusing Y/N.

"It's not like I'm doing anything here." JJ continued to mutter, hoping that both women would leave her office.

"We just had a seminar on fraternization last week." Penelope continued pacing, ignoring JJ's comments.

"I really have a lot of work to do, Garcia." JJ kept her eyes on the file in her hands, trying one last time to get both women out of her office.

"So do I." Y/N spoke up.

"So neither of you want to hear how Agent Rossi showed up at my door in the middle of the night while I was enjoying a post-coital shower with fellow FBI technical analyst Kevin Lynch?" Penelope glanced between Y/N and JJ.

JJ slowly looked up from her file while listening to Penelope talk. Y/N sat down, ready to listen to the juicy story Penelope had in store for them.

"Sit." JJ smiled, immediately putting down the file she just tried to focus on. She gestured for Penelope to sit down, which she immediately did.

Penelope told Y/N and JJ the events of the previous night. Once Penelope was finished, Y/N and JJ took a moment to let the information they had just heard sink in.

"So, you were in the shower with Kevin Lynch?" Y/N eyed Penelope, who still looked concerned, while her and JJ tried not to smile at the relationship between her and Kevin.

"Come on, Y/N, I'm being serious! I need your help." Penelope groaned, now looking at JJ.

"With what?" JJ furrowed her eyebrows, confused.

"Agent Rossi. We're not supposed to date fellow bureau employees." Penelope told, fidgeting.

"From what I hear, Rossi is the reason most of the fraternization rules even exist. Okay?" Y/N rolled her eyes, chuckling.

"He's not gonna tell anyone. Just relax." JJ reassured Penelope, who exhaled, nodding.

One personal case for Rossi later and the team was back in the office, setting down their bags. Everyone slowly stopped when they saw Kevin Lynch standing outside Rossi's office, clearly waiting for him.

"Agent Rossi. We need to talk...about Penelope. Man to man." Kevin spoke up, piquing the interest of Derek, Emily, and Spencer.

"Man to man." Rossi repeated, understanding the situation. He walked up to his office, ready for a conversation with Kevin. Once the office door closed, Derek turned to the team.

"What about Penelope?" Derek questioned.

"I don't know." Emily shrugged her shoulders.

"Garcia and Kevin, sittin' in a tree." JJ sung as she left the office with her go-bag. Y/N chuckled, understanding the whole situation, while Emily and Derek eventually caught on.

"Get outta here. Are you serious?" Derek smiled, eyeing Rossi's office. Y/N nodded. Derek followed JJ, intending to find out more.

"Just when I thought nothing scandalous was ever going to happen around here." Emily smirked.

"What? What does that mean?" Spencer glanced at Emily and Y/N, his face laced with confusion.

"Didn't you hear JJ?" Emily asked.

"The song meant something? No, I missed it!" Spencer's eyes widened.

"It- It...you know what? Never mind." Emily gave up, walking off.

"What?" Spencer eyed Y/N, hoping for an answer.

Seeing that the rest of the team had dispersed, Y/N moved closer to Spencer, ready to explain to him what the song meant.

"Using Garcia and Kevin as the obvious example, the song goes like this: Garcia and Kevin, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in a baby carriage. Is it making sense now?" Y/N sung the song quietly, hoping the genius would quickly get the idea.

"Not quite. You do remember me mentioning that I graduated high-school at 12, right?" Spencer reminded her.

"Besides, the song sounds incredibly inaccurate." Spencer scoffed.

"Okay, first off, how would you know? You've barely had any relationships. Secondly, it's a silly school yard rhyming song that aims to embarrass the two people who are named at the start. As JJ so graciously sung, the song is also to help identify two people who have a crush on or are dating each other." Y/N continued.

Minutes later, Rossi's office door opened, revealing Kevin, who looked more confident with a smile on his face as he walked down the steps to his right.

"Hey, Kevin. Was the 'man to man' meeting a success?" Y/N raised her eyebrow, curious.

Kevin nodded before he made his way out of the bullpen. Rossi walked out of his office, slowing down to watch Kevin walk with confidence. Once Kevin was behind the glass doors, Rossi walked down to Y/N's desk.

"Well, there's 2 minutes of my life that I'll never get back." Rossi rolled his eyes.

"Was it really that bad?" Spencer asked, confused.

"He stood across from me, trying a little too hard to look confident. He went on and on about how he loved Garcia and he insisted that I shouldn't tell anyone about their relationship." Rossi recounted his conversation with Kevin.

"And let me guess, you didn't care?" Y/N chuckled.

"Not one bit. But he thankfully ended the conversation, although, not before he made me promise not to tell Hotch or Strauss." Rossi exhaled, adjusting the go-bag that hung from his shoulder.

"Meanwhile I had to explain a school yard rhyming song to Reid." Y/N glanced at Spencer, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Really, kid? You're the smartest person on the team and you needed a song explained to you?" Rossi snickered.

"Once again, I remind you that I graduated high-school at 12, so I might not understand a school yard rhyming song." Spencer rolled his eyes, ignoring the snickers that came from Y/N and Rossi.