traded my life [TWD]

『50』

Hershel and his family didn't say anything about me sitting on their front porch. I guess they could tell that I was in the same boat they were with the way Shane reacted at the barn.

Rick was the first person to actually approach me.

"We need to discuss this," he urges. "Figure out what to do."

"I'm not in charge," I remind.

"No.. but, this concerns you."

I pull at the sleeves around my arm and shrug weakly. "I'm tired of being in the middle of it."

"I understand and I'm sorry. But, I need your call on this. I need your backup because.. Well, I can't trust Shane's. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can trust Lori's call."

I force myself to pick my head up to look at him. He looked strong but tired. Weakened by the display at the barn.

"Patricia died because of Shane," I admit the obvious. "I should've knocked him out sooner."

"You couldn't have imagined that."

"He's not a bad guy. He's just.. angry," I try to defend Shane. "When that walker got loose, he told me that they needed to see. He wanted Hershel and his people to see the truth about the walkers."

"And there's better ways of doing that," Rick agrees.

"My sister was in the barn."

Rick sighs and crouches in front of me. "I saw."

"I believe that walkers are trapped and in pain. I know there's no saving them. Hershel believes that they are sick. He's waiting on a cure to save them. Even though we have different beliefs, I still feel like my sister got murdered today. I can't imagine what Hershel is going through."

Rick nods as I talk. he listens intently to each word I say. I could tell he was listening and not just letting me speak into a void.

"But.. sometimes it takes a bad scare or close call for things to be fixed," I continue. "That's how it was with me and that guy. It took me at the cliff's edge to get my shit on track."

"You think what he did was for the best?"

"I don't think Shane's a bad guy. But, after what happened.. I don't think he's a good guy, either," I decide. "Something in the middle. A vigilante."

"I'm not too sure if we're all anything good or bad," Rick admits. "I think we're all on that vigilante spectrum."

I accept that fate. People were always like that, even before the walkers started roaming. I look past Rick's shoulder to see Dale on the RV. He waves his hands wildly over his head. My eyebrows scrunch and I look around camp to see what was wrong.

My eyes widen. I pat Rick's shoulder. "Walkers. Walkers!"

Rick stands up without a moment's hesitation. He spins around and looks at the field. A herd, probably three times the size of the one from the highway was making its way over to the house.

Rick curses under his breath. He grabs my hand and pulls me up. We run to the camp to warn everyone else.

Once I have Carl, I hold his hand and assure Rick that he's safe. Rick hurries to warn others. I bring Carl around the camp, stealthy and quiet.

I push Shane's tent flap open, but no one was inside. There was nothing inside.

No sleeping bag.

No emergency packs. 

No clothes.

Nothing.

Nothing but a piece of paper with my name on it.