traded my life [TWD]

『84』

For about ten minutes, all I could do was hug Woojin.

"See?" Rick says. "I told you.. as long as there's one of us around, we'd figure it out."

I give him a look and roll my eyes.

"You okay?" he asks.

"We're good. Had a few close calls, but nothing insane. Honestly.. I'm sure everyone here had it harder than we did. How are you?"

He points at the fence portion that had fallen last night. "Too big of a build-up right there. Carl and I were trying to fortify it, but.. it snapped."

I rest Woojin on my hip and look around. "The fences are getting weaker.. The weather, the walkers.. they're all giving out."

Rick nods in agreement and sighs.

"What are you thinking?" I wonder.

"It's not my place to think. That's the council's job."

"Hershel is still recuperating. Glenn and Sasha are still healing. Daryl is running around mad trying to figure things out.." I pause. "Where's Carol?"

He sighs. My eyes widen.

"Where's Carol?" I repeat.

"She did it," he says. "She.. She's the one that killed Karen and David."

I rub my lips together. "Okay?"

Rick looks at me funny. "What do you mean 'okay'?"

"She saw the last two sick people.. She tried to end it before it got this bad."

"She killed two of our own in cold blood, Hyejin."

"She made a difficult decision that no one else had the balls to make," I argue. "If we would've known about it sooner, maybe the quarantine would have worked and we wouldn't have lost over half of our people."

"Don't say it like that. Don't patronize me," he complains.

"How am I patronizing you?"

"You hated that we let in the Woodbury people," he blames. "You don't care about anyone else, don't pretend you do."

I shrug. "Okay, so I don't. Why's that matter?"

"It just.." he sighs. "You're sounding like Shane."

"I haven't packed up and left," I defend. "The only people that I care about are our family. The more people we get.. the more bodies to take care of.. it makes things harder."

"And where does that start and end?"

"It started with you and Shane. It ended after Sasha and Tyreese joined," I answer with complete ease.

"So, anyone we let in after Sasha and Tyreese.. what? They're expendable?"

"There's a difference between stepping over people to get by and stepping around them," I offer. "Turning a blind eye isn't the worst thing we could do."

"How can you say that?"

"With every fiber of my being. That's how I say it," I defend with ease. "Rick, it's not as easy as it used to be. And we're just making things harder on ourselves trying to cover other people's backs."

"How many people have you killed?" he asks.

"What? Suddenly, you need to ask me the three questions?" I scoff.

"How many?" he urges.

"Like.. two," I try to remember. "They were during Woodbury."

"I've lost count," he confesses. "But, I know why they're dead."

"Isn't the 'why' all that matters?" I push. "It's the same for Carol. She was trying to save lives."

"I exiled her."

My eyes widen. "You what?"

"I couldn't live with her in the same place as Carl, Judith, Woojin.. you. Any of us."

"We've all done shitty things," I agree. "But, banishing her like this is the 1700's? Carol is one of us- has been longer than most have been here.. I mean.."

I run my free hand through my hair and take a breath.

"I mean, shit.. She was a part of the Atlanta group before you even woke up from the hospital," I recall.

"I understand that. But, you need to understand-"

"No," I cut him off. "We can keep playing hot potato with the leadership, but at the end of the day, we have a council. It was not your place to kick her out."

"Hyejin-"

"I don't want to hear it," I complain. "If you're gonna try and justify fucking up, save that for Daryl."

His eyes cast down to the ground.

"You haven't told Daryl," I suspect.

Rick sighs heavily and shakes his head.

"Well.. I've gotta go drop Woojin off to Beth and then I promised Michonne I would help her burn the dead bodies," I inform. "If you haven't told Daryl by the time we get back- you know I'm not one to keep holding secrets back anymore."

I knew he could read in between the lines. Not holding back secrets- I was the one who told him about Shane and Lori. And I wasn't going to hide something like this. Especially not from Daryl.

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

i am not ready for this

you are not ready for this

hyejin is not ready for this