traded my life [TWD]

『92』

The second I heard the doors open and close, I sat upright and reached for my bag.

Why the hell was Daniel leaving? Was he looking for those assholes? Going to sell me out?

"Mom's sleep lightly, mother fucker," I whisper to myself and toss my bag over my shoulder.

Gotta go. I have to go before he gets back. I hurriedly toss my shit together and ease through the store, peering out the windows to see if I could at least know which direction he went in so I could avoid him.

I curse the fact that the little store was safe through the night and I had to abandon a safe-ish shelter. But, it was too dangerous to stay here and wait for them to come back.

I make a break for it out the back door and duck into the woods.

Okay.. Which way would Rick have gone after escaping the prison? He would leave with Carl- these are facts that I know. And they'd search for Judith, Woojin, and me. Rick couldn't track anywhere near as good as Daryl. I would have to keep leaving bigger signs for him to pick up on. Daryl could pick up on my shoe print, but Rick can't.

Beth. Where would Beth go? She went to get the kids. She wasn't on the bus. The bus left before the rest of us could get on.

Would Beth circle back to the farm? Maybe something around there? Or.. where would she feel safest to bring the kids? Was she alone? Was she somehow with Rick already? Maybe Daryl, Glenn, Michonne, or Tyreese.. she couldn't be alone with the kids. Someone would help her.

My brain feels overstimulated and hazy. I just wanted to hold Woojin again. I just wanted to see his little face.

I push aside the bubbling feeling of the urge to cry. Not yet. I had to find Woojin.

I take my knife out for extra protection, but see the blood on my hands. Hershel. Hershel's blood was still staining my skin.

Nothing felt right. Everything just felt horrible and dead. Hershel was one of the lights in the world- one of the very few good things left. I couldn't comprehend his death, even if it's only been two days. 

I missed the prison. I missed my bed- both the guard tower and my cell. At the thought, I reach up to my neck and hold my necklace. I still had the key to my cell on Jacqui's necklace. The feeling of the metal brings tears to my eyes.

I exhale slowly. The woods suddenly felt overwhelmingly quiet.

I can't remember the last time I was genuinely alone. Ever since the world fell, I've had Carl, Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, Beth, Carol and others. 

And before the world fell, I still had Rick, Carl, Shane, and even Lori.

But here.. I felt so, so lonely. So alone that it hurt my chest.

I blink the tears away and let it drive my determination. I had to find my family. I had to hold my son again.

"Hyejin!"

Fuck.

I dart behind a tree and place my back against it.

"Hyejin!" Daniel calls, getting closer. "Where are you?"

I hold my knife to my chest, ready to attack the second he came around the tree.

"Hyejin?" he asks and sighs. "Fuck."

I hear the leaves crunch under his feet as he looks around the woods.

Just his.

He was alone.

He didn't go back for the group of men.

I feel tears again. Slowly, I come to acknowledge that I was pushing away the one thing that would make me tread these woods- not alone.