traded my life [TWD]

『108』

Rick sits down beside me with our backs against the barn. He watches the same sight I was- Carl playing in the rain with Woojin and Judith. While he carried Judith, Woojin hopped and skipped in the puddles to his heart's content.

It was peaceful. Inspiring, even. Seeing the kids so happy in the rain made me feel some resemblance of happiness. The rain was welcomed as a whole since it meant we got water.. but the smiles on the kids' faces were worth more than anything in the world in this moment.

"I used to feel bad for them growing up here. I was terrified when we found out you were pregnant. Probably more scared than I was when I found out Lori was pregnant with Judith," Rick speaks slowly.

"Why?" I wonder. "It was your baby and your wife.. why were you more worried for me?"

"Because I remember the fear I had when Lori and I had Carl so young," he confesses. "And you.. doing it alone in this world.. scared the shit out of me."

I sigh and rest my head against the wall of the barn.

"I know all the things you've done for me. For my kids. I can never repay that."

"I don't want you to repay it," I deny. "It's just what we do."

I did wonder how deep that sentiment went, though. Did he recall those days in the hospital? Does he remember me caring for him after Lori? Both times, his mind was out of place or not working correctly. Could he remember those moments? Does he? 

"I feel like I could still do more considering all you've done for me."

I look at him and frown. "You already do."

He sighs, but doesn't acknowledge that part. "I know it was hard. Walking away from him. I don't know what happened while you were there.. but I know it wasn't good."

I feel a knot in my throat that I try to swallow down, pushing away the memories of Grady.

"I'm just really happy that you came home," he continues. "Because that's what this is. This group.. us.. we're family. We're home. With or without a roof."

I nod slowly, those damn tears threatening to spill out.

"I don't know how to get us out of this one. Not yet," he admits and looks over at me. "I just need to know that you trust me. Then.. knowing that.. I can get us there."

The weight of the conversation felt like it was suffocating me. I nod again, my lips tight as my tears blend in with the rain.

"I trust you," I assure. "Always have."

Rick sniffles and nods. He leans over and kisses my forehead, lingering there as I cry.

It felt indescribable. The last conversation Rick and I had prior to things going to hell was a disagreement over Carol. I hated that we lost each other during one of the rare occasions we were fighting. I hated not knowing if we could ever work that out.. if we'd ever see each other again.

But, it was okay now. Things were better. Rick was always there for me- and I would always be there for him. That was how we worked. That's how we lived.. even before the dead were walking.

I could trust Rick. Always. He hasn't led me astray yet. And I know that my word means everything to him. It was like Maggie and I's bond- how we found solace in each other after horrible things.

Lori, Q, Shane, arguing, leadership, the Governor.. no matter what, Rick and I would have each other. In the deepest part of my heart, I know that is all that matters. Because when Rick and I were on the same page, the group was unstoppable.

"Let's get the kids inside before they get sick," I advise, wiping my tears.

Rick nods and we help each other to our feet.

I wave the kids over and as they run inside, I look up at Rick. 

"Thank you," I tell him. "For talking first. I didn't know how to start."

Rick pats my head, trailing down to my back as he urges me to the door- an unspoken promise linked to the action.

No matter if Shane was known to be around or not, it didn't change Rick and me. We knew Shane was in Atlanta.. but, we were states away. We didn't have to go back. We didn't have to search for him or wait for him. We could just.. move on.

And for the first time since losing the prison, I finally felt like I could breathe.

--

As Woojin, Carl, and Judith were asleep, I sat alone in a corner of the barn.

I kept recounting Rick's story in my head. How his grandfather pretended he was dead in the war so he could get by. The walking dead.

I glance at my bag as I continue repeating the phrase to myself in my head. There, on top of my bag, was a bible.

Confused, I pick it up and look over it. I open the cover and see a note on the first page.

'I'm sorry for before. I love you. I miss you. Proverbs 7:4  - Maggie'

The bible was worn and had the same scent as the rest of the barn. She must've found it here.

I flip through the pages to find the scripture she was talking about. In the dim light, the lightning outside doing little to help, I read it.

's̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶d̶o̶m̶, 'You are my sister,' a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶i̶n̶s̶i̶g̶h̶t̶,̶ 'You are my relative.'

I sigh softly. I understood what she was trying to say as she marked out parts of the verse to fit our situation.

We are still family. We are still sisters. Nothing would come between that bond that was forged in the darkest of times.

"Hey," Daniel greets, slumping to sit beside me. "You should get some sleep."

I recall the night at Grady. How I spilled my guts to Daniel and he took it, and me into his arms. I nod slowly and set the bible aside. I pull my jacket around like a blanket and rest my head on Daniel's shoulder- getting some proper sleep for the first time in a long time.

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

the tom and jerry duo are back babyyyyy

rick and hyejin's bond is so special and important like she sees him as a hero (but will still call him out on his shit) and he sees her as his child but also a strong young woman he can confide in about anything and everything (even more than with lori or shane) 

and it just makes me so soft :(((((