Twelve - More Than One Funeral

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JAY QUICKLY CAME TO REALISE THAT THE HARGREEVES WERE WEIRD AS SHIT. She always thought Five was a complete fucking weirdo, but he seemed almost sane compared to some of his siblings.

She leant against the doorframe, cigarette in one hand, curious expression plain on her face. The Hargreeves were in the courtyard outside in a semicircle, each hidden under a black umbrella, except Klaus, whose umbrella was clear and lined with pink.

"Did something happen?" Grace, the Hargreeves mother/maid asked, tone confused but still forcing her usual cheerfulness.

"Dad died." Allison said, equally confused. "Remember?"

"Oh, yes of course." Grace nodded, smile flickering for a moment. Clearly the robot wasn't programmed for anything other than cheery.

"Is Mom okay?" Allison asked.

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine." Diego said. For a reason Jay could only guess was stupidity and dramatics, he had decided against an umbrella, and stood soaking in the rain. "She just needs to rest, you know, recharge."

Jay found Grace unnerving. She wasn't even sure why, really. Maybe it was the fact she was a literal robot. Maybe it was because her smile truly never faltered at all. But that wasn't it, Jay knew deep down. Deep down, Jay suspected it was because of a deep rooted issue implanted in her since long forgotten childhood, one she only realised since coming to the Hargreeves. Jay didn't remember her mother very well, almost all her unwanted memories being little more than deranged screaming. Jay didn't like Grace, because Grace was a mother. And as it turns out, Jay had mommy issues.

Add it to the list, I guess. Jay had a drag of her cigarette.

Pogo stepped forward, leaning heavily on his cane. He looked at Luther, also without an umbrella for stupidity. "Whenever you're ready, dear boy."

Luther nodded. He took the lid off the urn and tipped his father's ashes out. They landed unceremoniously on the floor in an ugly heap.

"Probably would have been better with some wind."

"Does anyone wish to speak?" Pogo asked. No one volunteered. "Very well. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master, and my friend, and I shall miss him very much. He leaves behind a complicated legacy -"

"He was a monster." Diego cut in. "He was a bad person and a worse father. The world's better off without him."

Klaus laughed.

"Diego," Allison said sharply.

"My name is Number Two." He said bitterly. "You know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it."

"Would anyone like something to eat?" Grace asked.

"No, it's okay Mom." Viktor said.

"Oh, okay." Grace nodded.

"Look you wanna pay your respects, go ahead." Diego said, stepping into the middle of the semicircle they all had formed. "But at least be honest about the kinda man he was."

"You should stop talking now." Luther said.

Diego eyed him. "You know you of all people should be on my side here, Number One."

"I am warning you." Luther took a step forward.

"After everything he did to you. He had to ship you a million miles away." Diego stepped closer.

"Diego. Stop. Talking."

"That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you!" Diego poked him in the chest. Luther slapped his hand away. He threw a punch. Diego ducked under it, then stepped away from the next one. The two kept fighting and everyone just stared as the two punched each other.

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