THE CAR RIDE WAS TENSE. Besides Five giving the occasional instructions to Luther about where to go, no one spoke. They sat, refusing to look at each other, wishing Luther would have the balls to break the speed limit so they could get there quicker. Luther had tried to break the silence when they first got in the car, but Jay's glare shut his stupid mouth right up.
Jay was doing a lot of glaring, more than usual that is. She was sat in the backseat, leaning against the door, window open slightly to let out the smoke of her cigarettes. Despite the window being open, enough smoke still lingered in the car to make Five and Luther's eyes water. But not Jay's eyes. Jay's eyes were like steel, unbreakable and dangerous. It made Luther nervous. It made Five sad.
He'd become entrapped with Jay's eyes, though he'd never admit it. It had first happened on October 6th, 1961, the day they first tried to kill each other, the day he first saw Jay laugh.
Her eyes had lit up. Normally they were a dull and harsh grey like they were now, but in that split second he made her laugh, Jay's eyes lit up like the stars.
After that, Five always turned to her eyes when he wanted to know. At first it was when he wanted to know what she was thinking, how she felt. Jay's face was like a statue most the time, but her eyes were the key to what lay beneath. He committed each of her expressions to memory, only visible through the tiniest shift and glimmer in her beautiful grey eyes.
Then he started to learn that when Jay was feeling something, she was probably right. When he saw her eyes harden in suspicion and her body tense for a fight, the first punch was swung not a minute later. When he saw her eyes widen and dart, searching for a way out because she thought they'd have to run, next thing Five knew he'd be sprinting, hand in hand with Jay down whatever path she'd decided on. Her eyes weren't just his key to her, they'd become his final turning point on nearly every decision he made.
Her eyes were the only reason Five needed right now to shut up and leave Jay the hell alone. Even if the stench of her cigarette was making him see ash rain down and cover Luther's bloody face, he wouldn't tell her to stop. He knew where that would end him.
Five knew Jay was losing her mind, she was having an episode, she was losing herself to her ghosts. He saw it in her eyes. When he'd aimed that gun at her he'd seen her eyes brim with fear and hurt, then try to shut down. And he'd seen her fail, and that fear tenfold. And when she'd run from his room, he'd seen ghosts swimming behind her vision.
He'd found her in the living room, pacing frantically in front of the bar. Her flask was in one hand, whisky bottle the other. Her hands were shaking as she refilled her flask, then put the bottle to her lips. She hadn't noticed Five as he slowly made his way over. She'd jumped when he gently said:
"Hey."
Jay turned to him. Her eyes had been manic with fear. "What?"
Five swallowed his guilt. "I have a plan. We're going to meet Hazel and Cha-Cha?"
A spark of hope flickered in her eyes. "To kill them?"
"To talk to them." Five hurt to see it fade. "Then we're gonna talk to The Handler."
At the mention of her name, Jay finally had the strength to push it all down. Her eyes faded and settled, her restless pacing ceased, and her heads steadied as she sipped from the bottle again.
"Okay." She said. "Let's go."
She went to leave. Five grabbed her wrist as she passed.
"Wait," He couldn't meet her eyes, too scared what he'd see. He sighed softly. "I'm sorry."
YOU ARE READING
Ruins (Five Hargreeves)
Fanfiction"You've ruined me, Five." Jay had spent what felt like her whole life at the Commission. She couldn't remember anything else, anything different. She didn't know how to do anything but follow orders and kill. She'd never leave, and she was okay wit...
