the share house || ot7 x reader

thirty five

"please stop shouting at me!" you begged, covering your ears as your aunt continued to scream at you for breaking one of her glasses. "i'm sorry. it was a mistake."

your eyes widened in horror as your aunt raised her hand. "auntie, please-"

"shut up, you little piece of-"

your eyes shot open with a gasp, and you quickly sat up to take in your surroundings. although you could barely see, you could make out that you were in your room.

"it was just a bad dream, y/n," you whispered, trying to calm your beating heart and steady your breathing. "you're fine."

nightmares about your relative weren't uncommon, and you've been having them for as long as you could remember. sometimes, they would be based on experience or come from pure imagination.

you picked your phone off your pedestal to check the time. 01:02 a.m. you groaned as you forced yourself out of bed. you always struggled to fall asleep after nightmares, but a warm cup of rooibos tea always helped.

you took your gown (bathrobe) and put it on, tying it as you made your way downstairs. 'i'll need to buy more tea soon,' you thought as you reached the bottom of the stairs. as you got closer to the kitchen, your steps slowed. the lights were on, and it sounded like someone was washing dishes. 'who the hell does the dishes at 1 a.m.?'

you walked in, and although the person's back was facing you, you could tell who it was.

"yoongi?"

"y/n?" he said, turning around fast. "you scared me, oh my gosh..."

"sorry," you chuckled, taking the kettle. "i didn't mean to. are you just coming back from your shift?"

"yeah," he sighed, stopping to let you fill the kettle with water. "i just had dinner and was washing my plates," he told you.

"do you normally come back from the bar at this time?" you asked, turning on the kettle. you knew yoongi worked late but never knew when he'd come home like you did the rest. you knew seokjin came home between six and nine and taehyung between four-thirty and six.

"tonight was super busy, and we were short-staffed," he said. "usually, i come back at eleven. anyway, why are you awake?"

"i had a bad dream," you sighed, grabbing a clear mug. telling someone you had a bad dream wasn't a big deal, but you were surprised you told yoongi. easily at that. "drinking tea after always makes me feel better."

"how often do you have nightmares?" he asked, turning off the tap and putting the glass on the drying rack. he watched you press your lips into a thin as you dropped a teabag into the mug.

"not as often as i used to," you said, taking a teaspoon.

"oh, okay," he nodded. not knowing what else to say, the kitchen fell silent, and you quietly prepared your cup of tea while yoongi watched.

'she must feel awkward having me here,' he thought. yoongi was a man of few words. sometimes, he'd talk so much it seemed like he couldn't shut up, but most of the time, he was like this. quiet.

he struggled to keep conversations going, and he preferred listening over talking. his boyfriends were used to being with him like this, but he wasn't sure how you felt about it. 'i think i should go, but i don't want to leave her here alone. especially after having a nightmare.' being someone who's had his fair share of terrible dreams, yoongi hated being alone after having one.

"yoongi..." you said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"yes, y/n?"

"if it's too personal, you don't have to answer," you started. "but remember the day you helped me get away from my aunt? you told me you saw yourself in me. how?"

he looked away with a sigh. "i didn't grow up with an abusive guardian like you did, but i had a terrible ex-boyfriend," he started.

"i used to be very loud, talkative, cheerful, always smiling. i was a happy man before and during my first weeks dating my ex. then he changed. he became distant and annoyed with me. he started complaining about the noise i made watching my comedy shows while he worked. he'd scream at me over little mistakes, and i don't remember when, but... he started to hit me." yoongi sucked in a breath and closed his eyes at the memory. "if the food i made wasn't to his liking, he'd throw the spoon, cup, bowl or plate at me. he believed he should be my only source of happiness, so if i was smiling and it wasn't from him, i would end up with a slap across the face."

you couldn't help but gasp in shock.

"i know you're wondering why i didn't leave immediately when the abuse started, but it's because i believed he didn't mean it... it's because he was stressed. it wasn't on purpose and just a spur of the moment. he'd apologise immediately after hurting me, buy me things to help with bruises, flowers to show he's sorry. he'd hug and kiss me gently afterwards, promising he'd change. but he never did, and the damn cycle continued," he bitterly chuckled, wiping the tear that rolled his cheek.

"you don't have to go, yoongi," you said softly, feeling terrible for asking and making him go over everything he had to experience. "i know my apology won't mean much, but i'm so sorry you had to go through all that."

"it's fine," he said, giving you a sad smile. "anyway, i left because he cheated on me. walking in on him sleeping naked, with two other people in our bed, was my fucking limit. i packed my bags that night and cried in taehyung's arms the second he opened the door for me."

"taehyung knew you then?" you asked and suddenly remembered taehyung telling you about his relationship with yoongi before he started going out with jimin, jungkook, and seokjin.

yoongi hummed in response. "but he was unaware of everything happening between my ex-boyfriend and me. he didn't know about the abuse, so when he asked why i was crying, i just told tae i caught him cheating on me. despite having someone i could lean on... it took me a long time before i told taehyung the truth. i didn't want him to think i was weak... i didn't want to make myself look weak. so, i kept it all to myself. the panic attacks, the nightmares... everything i was going through. i forced myself to silently struggle and be alone, even though i had someone who would help me in a heartbeat."

min yoongi looked like such a strong, calm, cool, and collected smart guy. with the way he presented himself, you would've never guessed he went through so much.

"i stopped myself from getting the help i wanted... no needed, because i didn't want taehyung to pity me or think of me as weak. you had the same slightly embarrassed look on your face the first time i helped you from your panic attack, the second time, the night we picked you up from that party, and the day i got you away from your aunt," he told you. "it reminded me of how i was, and i don't want you to be like me. i don't want to struggle like i did. that's why i told you... you could knock on my door at three in the morning to ask if you could cry on my shoulder or talk to get your mind off things, and i would let you in."

you looked at yoongi with your mouth slightly agape, unsure what to say.

"your tea is probably cold now, y/n," he chuckled, looking at your cap of half-drunken tea. "quickly throw it in the sink and wash the cup. i want to go to bed now."

you went to bed that night with your nightmare, long forgotten and your mind filled with thoughts of yoongi.

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a/n: i guess you wonder where i've been 💃🏾🕺🏾~