"I walk across a stranger today.
but it's weird because I know his favorite color, favorite song, favorite flower.
I know how he talks,
the way he acts.
I know him wholeheartedly---
but I also don't..."
****************0o0*****************
Gabriel is staring at the vast emptiness of the clear, night sky. the moon is up so bright, but there are no stars tonight. He's lying on his back on the bamboo recliner bed under the old mango tree---his mind is in that place. and he can't take it off from that place no matter how hard he tries.
He let go of a deep, troubled sigh. He's somehow happy to see his son again after five long years. but that didn't made up for the guilt he felt afterwards. for what haunted him so bad was the person whom he had turn his back from, whom he had left behind. up until now, what happened to his former flame still stabs him over and over again. His conscience is killing him and no matter what his reasons are for leaving five years ago could not justify the pain he had caused to the guy. kahit kanino pa sya magtanong, sya pa rin itong gago. at aminado sya doon.
He's just looking up, uncertain of what he should do, when he nearly fell from the recliner as something cold touch his arm. He sprung and get up, only to see the sly smirk of his cousin. Gabriel rolled his eyes and sit. Rigor sniggered and sit beside him.
"you're going to scare the people here by laying quietly just like that, Gabe." Rigor said. "mamaya nyan, mapagkamalan ka pang kapre ng punong mangga."
Gabriel shook his head and chuckled, opening the can of soda Rigor gave him. the bottle hissed and he felt satisfied as the ice-cold lemon and lime drink reach his throat. He emptied the can and squeeze it, throwing it aside.
"what are your plans now? babalik ka ba ulit sa farm?"
Gabriel didn't replied. He still didn't know what to do, honestly.
"ewan ko, Rigz. sa totoo lang, inaamin ko sa 'yo---nahihiya akong.... lumapit man lang sa kanya. magmula ng araw na yun, nung nakita ko sya ulit, at..." He shut his eyes tightly. the sight of Alexander in a state like that, when after all those years that had passed, he did nothing but hate the guy for ruining his life. na buong akala nya, sya lang ang nagdusa at nasaktan. na tama lang na iniwan nya ito dahil winasak ng ama nito ang buong pamilya nya.
Rigor tap his back and look at him with full understanding. walang awa sa mga mata ng pinsan nya and he's thankful for it. dahil hindi awa ang kailangan nya kundi pag-unawa. though honestly, hindi nya deserve talaga ang unawain sa mga bagay na kanyang nagawa.
"kung ako lang sa sitwasyon mong yan, Gabe---lalapit pa rin ako sa kanya at kakausapin sya. tatanggapin ko kung anuman ang mga sa sabihin nya at ire-respeto ko yun, dahil yun ang tamang gawin." wika ng pinsan nya. "Gabe, between the two of you---it was him who suffered the most. ayokong pangunahan at diktahan ka sa mga hakbang mo pero sana, maayos nyo pa 'to. sayang din kasi, eh. kahit itanggi mo pa ng pauli-ulit, alam mo sa iyong sarili na mahal mo pa sya. you can fool yourself by denying it pero alam mo rin na ikaw rin lang ang masasaktan sa huli."
"andali lang sabihin kasi, Rigz. pero yung gagawin mo na, hindi naman ganun." wika nya na tumingala muli sa kalangitan. "pa'no kung ayaw na nya kong makasama, o ayaw na nya akong marinig man lang?"
"sinubokan mo na ba?" tanong nito sa kanya. "nagawa mo na ba, para masabi mo yan? how will you know, if you didn't even tried?"
hindi sya nakasagot dito.
"Gabe, huwag mong katakutan ang mga bagay na hindi pa nangyayari." Rigor said. "matakot ka sa maaaring mangyari kapag wala ka man lang ginawa."
Rigor tap his back again as he headed back into the house. Gabriel is still there, still unsure of what he must do.
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YOU ARE READING
Alejandro's Hombre
FanfictionXander is a prodigy child to his family, the legacy kid and the Heir apparent. The moment he was born up to his childhood, he was trained to become a perfect successor and to carry on the prime of their esteemed clan. even having a choice is not up...
