Second chances are rare diamonds in the rough, as is allowing oneself to truly be happy. Will Noah and Milan push through their pains of the past to grab the priceless gem by the hand? Or will the tests put to their love prompt it to slip through th...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Noah
Already, I could feel those same emotions coursing through me, returning back like they hadn't spent years absent. Opening up about the wounds of my past was something I never thought I'd be doing, especially not like this.
So willingly, and so vulnerably...
But I am. Because I love her, and I trust her, and she should know... Even if it bleeds the same as it did then, the scars completely anew as if they'd never truly healed in the first place.
"This is hard," I admitted, my voice sounding unfamiliar to my own ears.
A hand squeezed mine as we sat up against the headboard, my back to it while Milan turned to face me.
"It's okay if you aren't ready, Noah," she assured, her tone gentle. "If you don't want to talk about it-"
"But I do, I..." With a breath drawn, I willed my tears to keep at bay. "I want to be honest with you. About everything, but especially about this if kids are what you want. It'd have had to come up at some point regardless."
In understanding, her thumb swiped the back of my hand. "I know baby..."
Deciding to get on with it, I began with a final breath flown through my dreadfully parted lips.
"Ian and I were three years into our marriage when we decided to have children. Or more like when he decided, but I wanted us to work and to make him happy- despite his constant doubts about that- so I agreed to it... It wasn't that I didn't want kids, I just didn't exactly feel ready and I wanted my heart to truly be all in..."
Emotion laced the inhale I drew, feeling the lump in my throat thicken as Milan squeezed my hand in support.
"Eventually, I got pregnant. But then, I lost her, just after we'd found out the gender... And Ian was supportive during that time, he didn't pressure me or invalidate my feelings about it. In a way, we simply leaned on each other for strength.... But then I got pregnant again-" With that last word, my voice couldn't help breaking, even in a whisper as I stared down at my fidgeting free hand. "And I... I lost it even sooner than the first one......"
"I'm so sorry..." she murmured quietly, shaking her head as her thumb rubbed my hand. Shrugging a shoulder, I pursed my lips while wiping away tears.
"I had to undergo surgery both times, and then the second time, the doctor informed me that I couldn't carry a child after that. Not ever...." Vision blurred with hot tears, I flicked my gaze up to the ceiling, emitting the driest of laughs. "I remember like it was yesterday honestly. The bastard was holding my hand, then let it go as soon as the news was broken, leaving me to process it and deal with it, all alone. And just like that, all hope for us was lost. He blamed me for being barren, and for failing at doing the one thing a woman was supposed to be able to do."
