• Rose In The Dark • (GxG)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Noah

I miss her...

I have for a while, if I'm being honest with myself. But a part of me wanted to hold out still, on giving in, just to punish her. Just to mess with her and make her sweat, for lying to me and for hurting me.

It was mean, and childish, I know. And with anyone else I'd have acted completely different. But Milan just... God she infuriates me. Though at the same time, I can't imagine my life without her.

I know her, and I understand her. So while what she did was wrong and reckless and insensitive and overall hurtful, I understood. Which also made it difficult, because while pissed at her, I wanted to be there for her anyway.

Being stubborn and all, I refused to show it even a little bit, however. But on the inside, I wanted to. And it was that alone that added to my anger as well. The fact that I couldn't help it, the weak and tender spot that I had for her.

She could do me in the worst of ways, yet a part of me would always love her still. And I was pissed at her for ever having that effect on me in the first place...

When getting back to our place for the night, I went into our home office for a little while. Needing to gather my thoughts and clear my head some.

I felt as if I was at a crossroads. Between forgiving her and keeping her at arm's length for a bit longer.

I was scared, yes, of letting her back in just for her to do it again. Though for some reason I could just feel that she wouldn't, ever, and especially not a second time.

I just... Trusting her wasn't the problem. But doing so now, without doubt and with all my heart... I wasn't sure when I could say with honesty that I'd be able to do that again.

Although, with that being said... I miss her... So much that it aches.

After about an hour, I finished with the final details for a case debrief, sealing it to print first thing tomorrow.

Standing from behind the wooden desk with a long and soft sigh, I left the office after powering off the desktop computer and closing my briefcase back up. With my heels now off, sheer stockings on my feet graced my steps along the floor as I was still dressed in today's work attire, now heading upstairs.

Assuming Milan was up here as well, given the first level of our home was clear and quiet, I didn't call out for her until entering our bedroom.

"Milan?"

"In here," she called from the bathroom, soon opening the door to let out steam.

I'd showered this morning, but a long hot bath didn't sound too bad right about now as I went to place my phone on the charger.

Just moments after I'd gone into my own closet, in search for pajamas while untucking and unbuttoning my shirt, I could feel her presence near the door. Craning my neck over my shoulder, I found her eyes on me as she leaned against the frame, dressed in university sweatpants and a tank top. Her hair was in its same ponytail as her minimal makeup was still on.

Facing forward again to hide a grin, I spoke while undoing the last button of my shirt. "What?"

"Nothing," she answered, her voice mellow yet nearer as I turned to see her coming to sit on the large ottoman within my closet. "How was work?"

"Good," I answered, just the same as I had been for a while now.

"Just good?"

Instead of simply nodding and leaving me be, the way she had been doing, she was pressing for more. And this time, I decided to let her.