Our Demonic Spawn

8

Nyx and I made our way down the bustling streets. She had surprised me earlier with the suggestion of a date night, a chance for us to spend some quality time together away from the chaos of our daily lives. I had eagerly agreed, looking forward to the opportunity to reconnect with my girlfriend after a particularly challenging week.

As we walked, Nyx reached out to take my hand in hers, her touch sending a shiver of warmth through me. I tried to smile, to show her how much I appreciated her efforts, but my mind was elsewhere, consumed by the weight of my own doubts and insecurities.

"Ken, is everything okay?" Nyx asked, her voice gentle as she squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You seem... distant."

I forced a smile, hoping to brush off her concerns and salvage the evening. "I'm fine, Nyx, really," I replied, my voice strained with the effort of maintaining the facade. "Just a little tired, that's all."

But Nyx wasn't fooled by my feeble attempt at deflection. She stopped walking, turning to face me with a look of genuine concern in her eyes. "Kennedy, please," she said, her voice soft but insistent. "You can talk to me. Whatever's on your mind, I'm here for you."

I felt a lump form in my throat at her words, the floodgates of my emotions threatening to burst open at any moment. I tried to hold them back, to keep up the pretense of being okay, but the weight of my doubts was too much to bear.

"I'm not okay, Nyx," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I haven't been okay for a long time."

Nyx's expression softened with understanding as she pulled me into her arms, holding me close as the tears began to fall. "Tell me what's wrong, Ken," she whispered, her voice a soothing balm to my troubled soul. "I'm here for you, no matter what."

And so, as we stood on that quiet street corner, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the city, I poured out my heart to Nyx, revealing the depths of my fears and insecurities in a way I had never dared to before.

"I'm scared, Nyx," I admitted, my voice trembling with emotion. "Scared that I'm not cut out to be a mother, that I'm failing our son, that I'm failing you."

Nyx held me tighter, her arms a comforting anchor in the storm raging within me. "You're not failing anyone, Ken," she said, her voice firm with conviction. "You're doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can ask for."

But I couldn't shake the feeling of inadequacy that gnawed at me from within, the constant voice of doubt that whispered in the darkest corners of my mind. I had always prided myself on being strong, on being able to handle whatever life threw my way, but motherhood had brought me to my knees in a way I had never anticipated.

"I thought I would be better at this," I confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush of emotion. "I thought I would have it all figured out by now, but instead... I feel like I'm suffocating."

Nyx wiped away my tears, her touch gentle and reassuring. "Thank you for telling me."

Nyx noticed the lack of privacy, so she guided me to a private cove. We entered the glow in the dark cove and sat on the moss. Nyx opened her arms, so I scooted next to her. She held me tightly as I gripped her arm.

"Nyx?" She hummed. "I have something to confess-"

"You don't have to." She cut me off.

"But, I want to." I breathed out. "And you're going to be angry."

"I promise I will not be." She gently smiled.

"I- everything got so hard." I admitted. "I thought I'd be able to handle it, but it was so overpowering. I felt like I was being crushed by the weight of it all." I took a deep breath. "I tried to end it all and I know that was selfish. I'm so sorry."