New Name

3. second wind

3. second wind - May 10, 2024 

It's been so long. My hoodie still smells like that chicken bake that you threw at me. My elbow is still bruised from that tackle. I look around and so much reminds me of you. Not a single second goes by that you don't come to mind. Yet, it feels like an eternity since I last saw you. It was just last night when we were up texting. And when I look around and you're not here, I feel lost. Powerless. Weak. My energy goes down and I trudge along the day without seeing you. It's as if I've been drained of everything I had. I just lost it all after our first date. Never did I think I'd miss you this badly. I scroll and stalk through everything of yours to remind me of everything we did that night. No matter how often we text or call, I still want the real thing. You here with me. That rush of life I got when we did anything together. I slide off the bed, rest my head against it, and face my ceiling. I just disassociate with thoughts and fantasies of you. Thinking about the future and how badly I want you in my arms now. I just slide up my hoodie over my face and breathe in that day, hoping to smell the memories again.

Ring. My phone lights up with your text. You say that you're right outside my door, and I nearly break down the door. Then, I realize that I am running with no shoes, sweatpants, and hoodie and rush right back in for a good seven minutes, transforming into an entirely different man. I run up to you, confused and happy. My brain tries to understand why you're here but gives up when you hold my hand. I instantly melted in front of you. You take my hand and bring me into the sunny, clear sky where the birds sing and the sun sparkles. Then, we race off into the day with you in the driver's seat. Feel that wind blow my hair for once. I feel something beat within my chest. That familiar feeling from when I was with you. The rush I'd been searching and longing for.

This was the feeling. My second wind. The urge to break free and live. Living apart from you brought me to the lowest of lows. Now, I'm smiling at the highest peak in the world. It didn't matter what the destination or activity was. As long as I was with you, I felt euphoria and a sense of safety. I could fall asleep peacefully, knowing that you're in my company. All because you gave me a breath of life once again and made me fall madly in love. A fool with hearts for eyes. Coffee and energy drinks could never compare to you. I was never the type to quickly go all in for someone. Yet, with you, it was a no-brainer. It was just natural that I love you.