New Name

12. freefall

12. freefall - June 27, 2024 

It becomes something of a haze. A maze in a maze. Every thought I had comes a million other questions. Am I doing it right? Am I following my heart? Is this another ruined love that is yet to be fulfilled? Nothing was ever sure in my mind. And, it's still the same now. What could I do is a question I ask my reflection every morning, hoping for a reply. I live in a world of the unknown that seems to be the case for just me. I just hope for something just simple. Something that fits within my life. Someone to complete the missing piece of my jigsaw life. Someone who just completes me.

Then, she came. She had me waiting for her. Had me responding at the speed of light. Get me so invested in her that I want to know her every move. For the first time in a long time, I was sure I wanted to stalk and annoy the hell out of her. It was a mission that I gave myself. She seriously had me messed up. And whenever I think about her stupid laugh and smile, I feel a tingling in my chest. I can feel that faint tugging of my heartstrings. I get so excited to talk about her whenever I get the chance. My brain goes soft and I just start talking about anything around her. I yap on and on like a golden retriever because she makes everything bright. She's a summer day with a clear blue sky. She's a picnic by a sparkling lake. She's refreshing and sweet in every way I could think of. And when I talk about her to my friends, I feel like I can't stop. I get embarrassed and stumble. I want to hold her in my arms and swing her around. I want to be able to drop her off and still smell a hint of her in the car. Look at what she did to me.

And, I'm always a wary person. I've sworn off falling for others. I was familiar with where this path leads to. Even so, I swoon at her every word. When she tells me about her day, I want to stare at her all day long. I want to write a hundred more letters to her. I want and want and want all the living day long. And when night comes, I swear she shines even brighter. Her smile lights up the room around me. Her eyes dazzle like a galaxy. When she comes into the frame, all I can focus on is her.

She's vibrant. She's glimmering. She embodies a sunshower. She makes stars fall while her smile lights up the world. She makes me want to jump out of a plane. She is a thrill. I want to chase after and laugh uncontrollably like a kid. Freefall into her embrace and stare at celestial eyes and blazing smile. I think I just might have fallen in love. And if so, maybe it's not so bad, even if there's a chance I might get hurt.