The Blood I Carry

Start a war.

I now like I enjoy meal times now, everyone talks to one another. Me and Jude are public, most worked it out before we actually told them. We kiss every now and then, we hug and hold hands often. Im happy, i think. But I'm also worried, worried that it won't last at all. The bipolar medication seems to be working, keeping my moods in control, but sometimes it feels too controlling. Sometimes it feels like my emotions have disappeared I wake up in the mornings not feeling anything, often i would feel happy that I would get to see Jude or Grayson or Raven, but then on occasion it changes, i don't want to see anyone or do anything i just sit in my room questioning why i woke up and life what has became of it.

Jude opened up more about his childhood, more specifically his dad and the abusive relationship they had, Jude was beaten the most however Valentina was made to witness this, they were both so young. He showed me his back, scar upon scar piled up onto one another. His whole back is covered. Not a space left without this torture. It looked as if you got a pencil and scribbled lines all over the paper. I felt and still feel so terrible for him. He didn't deserve any of that. No one should.

Right now though, we are all sitting at dinner, it's an early dinner since we took the afternoon training off and added an extra hour to morning training. I think we all know why. We are all prepared, it seems. Grayson, Brooklyn, Rowan, Luna and Raven have been taking fighting classes since they can't do a lot with their powers. That being they can't throw someone across the room or set them on fire, drown them, protect themselves with a bubble, electrocute them, crush their brains, etc. meanwhile me and the others have also taken three fighting classes a week just so we know how to actually throw a punch and defend ourselves in case we can't control our powers or we get too tired for our powers to actually work.

"You know what I think we should do this evening?" Jude mutters near me so only I can hear. I hope only I can hear anyway. I hum, wondering.

"I think we should go to my room tonight, away from everyone." he runs his hand up to my thigh and holds it there gently, squeezing it.

Me and Jude have made out a few more times, some more touchy feely than others, some where it was purely because we feel things for each other. We haven't really gotten to the 'sex' part of the relationship, if that's even a thing. I've spoken to Raven about it since i trust her most about these things and well, to sum up her advice, as long as i'm okay with it and so is Jude we can do it whenever we are ready . I already knew that, but when you think about it when your actually in a relationship it feels different, kind of scary if you would put it.

I look at him and smile, "And what would you like to do in your room alone away from everyone?"

"I think you know, love." He gently rubs my thigh, i can feel his breath tickle my cheek, it makes me feel so many things. So many different things. I should be used to that feeling, but i don't actually think i will every get used to that feeling, ever. Its magical. Truly.

"Jude," I look at him, a grin appears on his face. A smile tugs at mine too.

"Hello, still here." Graysons voice interrupts. Which makes me remember that it isn't just me and Jude in a room. I look Gray, realising he looks the only way I can describe it as jealous. His eyebrows are pressed together, he looks annoyed, jaw clenched. I look down at his knuckles and they are white.

"What's up?" I question.

He looks down at his own hands and releases them from the urging temptation to punch something.

"I'm sorry, are you alright?" He speaks, taking a deep breath as he does, stretching his hands out and cracking his knuckles. I pull a face.

"Yeah I'm okay, are you?" staring at his knuckles clutching and un clutching.