The Blood I Carry

Holy Shit

Before i know it im up and training again. Nothing really hurts apart from when I'm too out of breath, that's when my lungs start to spasm and my ribs ache.

It's been two weeks since we got everyone back, two weeks since I lost my family. Grief is a funny thing. It can make you feel the most heartbreak and pain, but then also make you feel at peace and remember the happy memories from the person you are grieving, knowing that you made them memories makes you that slight bit happier until it stops hurting. My nightmares have calmed down now, I only have them every now and then, and when I do I know that Jude is there to hold me while I breath through the trauma of being strangled by my own dead brother.

This week Sir Cassander has pushed me further with my strength. He said to me "You will learn how to keep your strength up so you can fight for longer and defend yourself even when you are at your weakest. You will push yourself so hard over the next months that you will wish you were dead at some points."

Them last few words hit hard, but it's true. Today is one of them days. I have been training nearly non stop all afternoon since after lunch and it's now 5pm. Cassander has asked me to stop multiple times in fear that I might pass out or die from exhaustion or something. I've said that i'll stop at 5:30pm, because the way my knees and arms hurt now is genuinely making me want to lay in a pool of ice water.

"Lets go again, come on once more." Raven speaks. We've been fighting on the mats for the past half hour. I want to get better at my fighting skills, not just my telekinesis skills. Raven's dark hair is up in a quick high ponytail, mine is again in a french braid, a tight one this time. I didn't want it to get lose this morning. We're both in our training uniform and also have protective armour underneath it covering our stomachs and back, just in case we accidentally stab each other with the daggers we have strapped to our ribs and thighs. I have an extra two on each of my forearms. It's just what I was given for fighting. We try not to use the daggers unless we have to, and even if we do use them it's not so its dangerous. We would never purposely try to hurt each other, the only wounds we give each other are some punch marks or where we have thrown each other to the floor, some are slight slashes from the blades where they have either skimmed our skin or we have accidentally mistaken our distance.

"I'll go easy on you, promise."

Raven is hard to fight, because sometimes you have to think about your next move, and she can mind read. I think we all get the gist here that she will always be able to tell your next move unless you don't think about it at all and go in blind. So when she says she will 'go easy on me' she means she will 'turn off' her powers and we will fight without her knowing my next move, which i can agree makes it an even match.

She throws a punch at me, I dodge it and attempt to punch her back, going for her stomach. She dives towards me and knocks me onto my back, the air in my lungs literally disappears. I gasp for air and take in all I have. Her forearm rests firmly against my throat, she wouldn't press too hard. Her body weight presses firmly onto my body, her knees are beside my hips, her feet and shins being between my legs. Her other hand grabs daggers from my sides and thighs, she tosses them out of both our reaches across the mat. Unfair.

"Come on Olivia, you've got more than that. Fight." I hear Judes voice across the room, his voice echoing all the way from the glass door.

I think for a second before she gets to disarm the rest of my body. My legs swing up and wrap around her lower back, I force all my weight to my right and somehow end up on top of her.

I hear a whistle come from Jude, he's proud of me.

I try to block out the thought but can't, the thought that he's only proud of me because he has to be proud of me. Whether he likes it or not.