Querencia (Midnight #1)

Chapter 19

Nineteen
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Napa-hawak ako sa aking dibdib nang marinig ang hiyawan ng kabilang section. We are all preparing because Grade 9 students just finished performing theirs. Hawak-hawak ko ang dibdib na umupo sa isang gilid.

Apart from the fact that I cannot forget what Maxeus did earlier, my heart's still beating against my rib cage. Ang mga mata, ang paghinga, ang bawat salitang bumigkas sa bibig niya ay tila naka ukit na sa aking alaala. They way his tone sounds like a jealous one, I wanna keep him.

Kabay ng hiyawan sa kabila ang paglakas ng dagungdong sa aking dibdib nang mahuli ang mga matang hindi ko malimutang naka-tingin sa akin, habang may maliit na ngisi sa kanyang labi. I badly wanna slap his face right now for making my heart beat fast as if it was on a race.

I looked away.

Damn you, Maxeus! I hate you and I freaking like you at the same time!

"Hey, Harms!"

Umangat ang tingin ko at naabutan si Tori. . . it's been days since the last time she notices my presence. Palagi niya akong iniiwasan? There's this time I wanna go with her at the cafeteria since we haven't hung out ever since Beige approached me.

"Hala. . . p'wede payakap?" I asked for permission while holding her hand.

Her eyes suddenly widened. "Sure. May nangyari ba?" Tanong nito.

Mabilis akong sumunggab ng yakap nang marinig ang pagsang-ayon niya. I felt how shocked she was because she didn't hug me back right away. . . but eventually she did. She even gently caresses my back while chuckling, tila gulat sa bigla kong pagyakap sa kanya.

"May nangyari ba, Harms?" She asked again, still caressing my back.

I withdrew our hug. "Wala. . . I just missed you,"

"Ano nga 'yon?" She persistently asked.

I took a deep breath. "Ikaw kasi. You started avoiding me. . . when Beige approached me that day. Were you mad that I was with her that day?"

Guilt passes through her face. "Shit." Bulong niya.

"Galit ka, eh!" I shrieked.

Her eyes widened. "No! I was. . . just shocked. Hindi ko kasi alam na gano'n na pala 'yung naramdaman mo. Just so you know, Harms—I wasn't mad, okay? May problema lang talaga, and I think. . . I'm not yet ready to tell you guys about that." She explains.

I nodded and hugged her again. "You were bullied, weren't you?" I felt how she stopped. "You're being unfair with me but I understand. No pressure of telling me anything about what happened, okay? I just wanna. . . tell you that I am always willing to hear your rants and problems. Someone's willing to listen to you. That someone's me," I said.

Muli kong binawi ang yakap namin ngunit hindi siya nagpatinag, nanatili siya sa yakap naming dalawa. Narinig ko ang maliit niyang paghikbi. Niyakap ko siya nang mas mahigpit kaysa kanina. It feels like she's been longing for a hug.

"It's okay. . . just cry, take everything out, Tori." I assured her.

Humikbi siyang muli. "A-andaya. . . hindi mo pa naririnig explanation ko pero you can understand me right away." Mahinang sabi niya, sapat para ako lamang ang makarinig.

"There's no explanation you necessarily need to explain to me, Tori. Seeing you suffer in silence was more than an explanation. Kaya naiintindihan kita," because I've been there, I know how it feels to suffer in silence. Gusto ko sanang idugtong ngunit alam kong oras niya ito upang ilabas ang kanyang sama ng loob at makapag-aantay ang akin.