DESOLATION

31

Dear Readers, I hope you all are doing well. 

I am sorry for the late update. I said that I would update weekly, but failed to do so. Believe me, I truly want to update regularly, knowing that you are waiting, but life is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes it becomes too hard to focus on writing with everything that is going on.

Still, I want you to know that I am committed to completing this book. I deeply value your patience and your love, and I hope you continue reading my work. All I can do is keep trying to update regularly. The only thing that keeps me from giving up is your messages. They are my only source of encouragement.

I hope you all love the chapter. 

A very long chapter for you. Enjoy!

.....

INEZ

Rain has been falling since morning, endless and unforgiving, washing the vast garden in shades of grey. The roses are bent under the weight of the storm, their petals trembling whenever the wind sweeps through them. The tall trees sway like silent mourners, and the stone pathways have disappeared beneath the shimmering puddles that reflect the dark sky above.

I am standing by the window; my fingers pressed lightly against the cold floor-to-ceiling glass door leading to the terrace.

I look behind me at the room, which becomes smaller with each passing day. The locked door is a constant reminder that the world exists without me. I can hear life outside, the distant things, rustling leaves, rainwater spilling, but none of it belongs to me anymore. Lorcan did not just lock the door; he also locked this glass door, so I could not go outside.

I want to step outside.

To feel the rain soaking my clothes.
To sink barefoot into the wet earth.
To breathe something other than the stale air trapped between these walls.

But the key is far from my reach.

It has been two weeks since I have been locked inside. Two weeks since my failed escape attempt and Lorcan locking me inside this room. I have been counting each day. Lorcan was generous enough to leave my phone with me, but he also knows there is nothing I could do with it. I have no one to talk to.

Every day is the same. I wake up to an empty bed, and when I freshen up, Oisin brings breakfast for me with the two other maids. They ask if I need something, and upon my lack of response, they stand here silently. They bring lunch and dinner, and the maids stay until I have finished, and they leave without uttering a word.

After dinner, Lorcan comes into the room, and then with his ways of manipulating my body, we end up having sex despite me not wanting to. Every day he asks the same question, how am I feeling and that's it. Nothing else. He does not talk, and his lack of communication kills me further from the inside. After having sex, he takes me for a bath and then silently brings me back inside the room. He holds me while I sleep, and in the morning, he leaves before I wake up. No one comes to my room unless necessary.

I have asked for his forgiveness too many times, but he never answers me as if he does not even forgive me. It's not my mistake that I ran away, but I try to make things normal to have the least bit of freedom, which I had before I escaped. It seems like a cold wall has drawn between us. He wants to torture me through silence, very well knowing I have no one other than him.

A faint crack of thunder rolls from the sky, capturing my attention. I close my eyes for a moment, imagining what it would feel like if I could go outside. The garden looks endless from here, stretching into the mist like another life I could never touch.