Addicted To You

27 - Jealousy

Most of the dream faded, but bits of it clung to my memory and I couldn't shake the part about losing him. I needed coffee. That should help. I attempted the drip coffee thing and it turned out like tar. I searched on Naver for nearby coffee shops. I found one that was within walking distance. I washed up, bundled up, and headed out for my first solo adventure.

I ended up talking to the owner for several minutes. She spoke English, which was great. She also told me I could bring Jinki into the shop if she was in her bubble. That was even better. I ordered my latte and held it near my face as I walked back to the apartment.

I finished the post I had started the night before then spent the day writing and editing my travel photos. I got an immediate and positive response when I posted. My readers were excited for more content and they were excited I was reunited with the guys.

One commented about KMBBs' less than favorable reaction to my close relationship with Monsta X. She asked how I was handling that. I responded that I don't even bother with them. I don't read about it and I don't give them much attention when they come over to my side and comment on my posts. If they are nasty, they get deleted and blocked. I prefer my drama with handsome male actors and subtitles.

I had noticed an immediate increase in the number of negative comments since I had gotten to Korea. It was to be expected, but I didn't like it. Some were in English, but most were in Hangul. Before I started learning the language, I could ignore them. But I was able to read some of them. Korean fans did not want to share their idols with a foreigner. Especially not one who didn't fit their ideal beauty standard. I refused to interact. I wasn't going to feed their egos.

The guys ordered lunch and dinner for me, but they were still working and couldn't come to eat with me. I used the time apart to try and get a hold of myself. I could not keep feeling all this anger and guilt. It was just going to make things harder and I knew that. I had been struggling with my emotions since before I left Atlanta, but it only seemed to be worse now that I was with him.

I spent a lot of time at the cafe I found. I was still not very confident with my language skills with anyone but the guys, so I took advantage of the fact that the staff spoke English. Jinki was welcome there too, so it was perfect.

She got lots of attention, as usual, but not many people spoke to us. It didn't bother me because I didn't want to talk to anyone, except to order my coffee. I needed someone to teach me how to make drip coffee. It seemed so simple. I kept trying but it was just bad. Very bad.

It was time for a walk and a visit to the café. I second-guessed my decision to walk outside when the first blast of freezing wind hit me. Jinki wasn't as bothered. She was going for a walk and that was all that mattered. She had a warm sweater and her kitty boots on, so she was ready.

Before we went inside, I set her backpack down and she climbed inside and snuggled into her fleece blanket. I went inside to the counter and ordered a French Vanilla Latte and a pastry. I sat in a sunny spot near the windows. I held the cup in both hands and brought it close to my face to absorb its warmth. Jinki was sharing the sunbeam in the chair next to me. I opened her bubble so she could have some fresh air.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the sweet aroma of my coffee. I tried to clear my mind and just enjoy the moment. The cafe was playing mostly girl group songs on their system and I could only name a couple. I probably should pay a little more attention to other groups, but I just wasn't interested. Aside from my Monsta X and SHINee boys, I also enjoy ATEEZ, Choi San.... mmmm, that man ... but I digress. And a couple of other groups.

I ignored the looks of the other patrons when I bundled myself and picked up Jinki's bubble. I stopped outside the door and opened it to let her walk, but she decided she had enough cold and just meowed at me to close it. I was glad I had upgraded her to a rolling bubble. It would have been difficult to load her pack over the puffer jacket and thick sweaters.