Comet

To ease that oozing pain

"Why are you sitting under this tree?"

Richard looked up to see Emma standing in the sun to the right of him. He now had a beard and mustache.

"Emma..."

Richard stared at her with emotionless eyes. He looked tired, and out of his mind. Not in the present.

"I've been calling you! Why don't you answer your phone?"

The sounds of children laughing and enjoying their time in the sun filled both of their ears. It was a nice sunny day after all.

Richard squinted, watching them play with their toys and friends.

"Richard?"

Richard didn't reply.

"You look dead, are you okay? Man, why am I even asking? No shit you aren't!"

"Emma, I'm sorry. Care enough to listen to me?"

"Run your mouth for as long as you want. I'm worried."

"When I first met Ivy, she was mean. Super rude. I know that sounds surprising. Well, does it?"

"No."

"Huh. Anyway, we were like enemies. Kinda. She would insult me for my weird behavior and I would try my best to compliment her. Kill 'em with kindness, haha. Nah, that wasn't my goal, but she looked cute. My uncle always wanted to respect women and all, I wanted to follow his lead. My father was different from that. He was a different man. He wasn't a good person to be around. My uncle and my dad were like the sun and the moon. My dad will always lower the fun and happiness in a room while my uncle did the opposite. I looked up to my uncle for that. Being able to express myself without being judged and actually celebrated for it changed the way I grew up. I became a funky cool person I guess. So when I was with Ivy, I just didn't feel the need to return her energy, I just wanted to light up her day because who knows what she was going through? My dad didn't have the greatest life. He dropped out of school at 11 and nothing got better from there. He drank a lot. A lot, a lot. He loved to manipulate and use people. That's kinda how he got to my mother. By being a slimy bastard who knew how to seduce women. It didn't help that he was attractive. The difference between him and Ivy is that she is still young. She can still change, right? She doesn't even seem too bad. Sometimes I catch her stunned by my compliments. Sometimes she erupts like a volcano because I was still laughing with a smile even after her insults. Even when she said she hated my guts, she still came back to me. A week later, we'd see each other at the library, 3 days later, a fast food restaurant, then after that it was like everyday we saw one another. She was ugly."

"What?!"

Richard flinched.

"No! She's very cute, very. But I can't say that when her personality is as ugly as a squashed roach. To me, if your personality is ugly, you're ugly all over. No matter how good a cake smells, if it tastes terrible, the smell is irrelevant. She got cuter with each day that passed. Nicer, cooler, calmer. It looked like she was freeing herself from something. I helped her when her boyfriend cheated on her, I wanted the best for her. She made me happy. She wasn't supposed to die. She wasn't supposed to fucking die. She wanted to be better, I could see it! Her beautiful smile reminded that life was worth living even when we were hunted down. Sitting in my uncle's home with Ivy while you and Marcus ran away on that day, she told me how thankful she was for me. My eyes glistened. I didn't think I could do it, to be the sun in someone's life the way that my uncle was in mine. I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. She's gone. She deserved to live, not me."

"Don't say that!"

"I will! I sit here doing nothing productive. I barely eat, I barely sleep, all I do is drown into the deepest trenches of my mind. I sit here, envious. Look at those children, innocent and young. They have a few years until they have to mature, and realize that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I wish I could be like them. It's not fair, they get to live perfect lives while I suffer."