Comet

Why am I?

"Who am I?"

We had sex again. It felt worse than the first time. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking, letting my mind be as loud and busy as possible like a busy street in rush hour. Nothing was working. Nothing felt right. I stared at ceiling with my hands behind my head and my shirt off, showing off the massive manly hair on my chest and armpits.

Failure.

Not once did I stop there and think if I was ever failing. Now, in realization, I realize that there was never any success. Just a path full of horrendous and unholy decisions. If there was no success, then I was failing this whole time.

Failing what? This is what I was assigned for. It doesn't feel like that I did anything. Just a couple of lives killed for him. Maybe deep down inside, I was waiting for a pat on the back. To look and see my father smiling at me. Like hell that would happen. I'm nothing, but a tool. That's how far it goes. I did a pretty good job.

I can feel Ross' hearty laugh haunting my ear drums so effortlessly.

Have I only made a fool of myself? I don't feel like smiling. These emotions...

When the birds began to chirp, I realized it was already morning. I decided to head out of the hotel and walk into the wilderness. As I walked, the day got brighter, and I stopped at a tall mountain near a lake. I changed my form back to my normal one too somewhere along the way.

"Hey."

Wow, my own brother, coming to meet me at my lowest. I wonder what terrible things he has finally been urging to say to me after all these years. Hate me! Dismantle me! Crush my composure until you can see the salty liquid from under!

Oscar, that little runt. In his cute jello goo form, slithering from the bushes.

"You don't have to kill them anymore."

What? Why would you... I don't have to? Wait, why do I care? Fucking hell.

"What do you mean?"

"We're changing things up."

Oscar, but...

I didn't feel comfortable showing him my true feelings, I stayed neutral.

"Okay, fine. I'm fine with that."

"Yeah, hey, how's it going, Darius?"

Weird question.

"I'm doing... fine."

"Good, good."

Good?

"I just want to let you know that we don't hate you anymore. Especially me. I forgive you. You were just a kid and all. I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder, I hope you can forgive me."

I paused. I didn't know what to say.

His form changed, back into a human. At this point, he should be 18. He looked great, a checkered shirt, a mustache growing in and dark bags under his eyes. Crystals all over his eyebrows. That's the Oscar I know, all grown up. Lots of acne on his face. Poor guy.

"See? I'll even turn to normal. You can kill me if you want, if the hatred you've been bottling up for us is something you wanna release."

He closed his eyes. I slowly raised my arm, letting it turn into an AK 47. My gun shook, I stared at Oscar with a puzzled look. I truly was lost.

I cracked.

I gave out a pathetic chuckle, lowering the AK-47 and turning it into my arm. It was hardly anything, just air escaping my nostrils, a pathetic exhale pretending to be a laugh.