The Gryffindor common room was unusually quiet as Y/N sat curled up in an armchair by the fire, a book open in her lap. She wasn't really reading, though. Her mind was elsewhere, swirling with thoughts that she couldn't seem to escape. It was late, and most of the students had already gone to bed, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She glanced up as the portrait hole swung open and James Potter stepped in, looking tired but pleased. He had been out on another late-night patrol as Head Boy, and Y/N couldn't help but feel a pang of irritation. Lately, it seemed like James was always busy, always distracted. And she had a sinking feeling she knew why.
"Hey, love," James said, spotting her and walking over with a warm smile. "You're still up?"
"Yeah," Y/N replied, trying to keep her tone neutral. "Just couldn't sleep."
James sat down on the armrest of her chair, leaning in to kiss her. She turned her head slightly, and his kiss landed on her cheek instead. He pulled back, frowning. "Is everything alright?"
She closed her book and set it aside, taking a deep breath. "James, we need to talk."
He shifted, a look of concern crossing his face. "About what?"
Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for the right words. "About us. And about Lily."
James's expression hardened slightly. "What about Lily?"
"James, I need to know where we stand," she said, her voice trembling. "I feel like... like you're not fully here with me. Like part of you is still... with her."
James sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. "Y/N, that's not fair. You know how complicated things are with Lily."
"Complicated?" she repeated, her voice rising. "James, you were in love with her for years. And now we're together, but I can't shake the feeling that you're still hung up on her. Every time you see her, every time you talk about her, it's like there's this... this spark in your eyes that isn't there when you look at me."
"That's not true," James protested, but his voice lacked conviction. "I chose to be with you, didn't I?"
"But did you really choose me?" Y/N shot back, standing up and facing him. "Or am I just... second best?"
James stood as well, his face contorted with frustration. "That's not what this is about. I care about you, Y/N. I do. But you can't expect me to just erase my feelings for Lily overnight."
"I'm not asking you to erase anything," Y/N said, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm asking you to be honest with me. Do you still love her?"
James looked away, his silence speaking volumes. Y/N felt a tear slip down her cheek, her heart breaking at the confirmation she had dreaded.
"Y/N..." James began, but she shook her head, cutting him off.
"No, James. I can't do this if you're not fully in it with me. I deserve someone who loves me completely, not someone who's still hung up on someone else."
"You're right," James said quietly, his shoulders sagging. "You do deserve that. And I'm sorry. I thought I could move on, but..."
"But you can't," Y/N finished for him, her voice barely above a whisper.
James reached out to touch her, but she stepped back, the pain too raw. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I never wanted to hurt you."
She nodded, wiping her tears away. "I know. But it hurts all the same."
There was a long, heavy silence between them, the weight of their unspoken feelings pressing down on them both. Finally, Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to compose herself.
"I think we need some time apart," she said, her voice trembling. "To figure out what we really want."
James nodded, his eyes full of regret. "I understand."
Without another word, Y/N turned and walked towards the girls' dormitory, her heart aching with every step. She paused at the staircase, looking back at James one last time. He stood there, looking lost and conflicted, and she knew that this was the right decision, even if it was the hardest one she'd ever made.
As she climbed the stairs, the tears came in full force, but she didn't stop them. She let herself feel the pain, knowing that it was a necessary part of healing. And though her heart was breaking, she held on to the hope that someday, she would find someone who loved her completely, without any lingering doubts or unfinished business.
For now, she needed to focus on herself and her own healing. And she knew that James had his own journey to take, one that she couldn't be a part of. It was a painful reality, but it was one she had to accept.
In the dim light of the common room, James watched Y/N disappear up the stairs, feeling the weight of his choices and the emptiness of the space she had left behind.
