Fallen From Grace

This Shouldn't Be Happening

The date had finally come, the date I made sure I wasn't working at all this one particular Tuesday which I got my supervisor Paula to make sure I wasn't working, to put my mind at rest that I knew I would be there for Penny all day when it was the day she would go in for her operation to get spaded.

I originally had to argue this over with Andy a while ago and then kept on at it because at first he wanted to breed her with our mates french bulldog, and I wouldn't let him just because of the look on Penny's face there was no way I was putting her through a pregnancy where I didn't think she'd cope. I had become incredibly emotionally attached, attuned to her every expression. I could read her facial cues and eyes. I knew when there was something wrong with her, when there was a change in her behaviour, and it took some doing with some conversations where I talked he listened, but that we were finally agreed if we weren't going to breed her which I was never comfortable with, then this, had to be done because in the long term if she continued to have periods there was a high chance of her getting cancer. He googled that fact. I wasn't sure how true it was, but he tended to Google things. Today, Andy also had, in fact, the week off to work from home himself to look after Penny after her operation, which he cleared at with his boss. Penny had now officially become our child. She may well be a puppy, but she was our baby to look after. I nearly cried in the side room before we left.

"All," I stroked her over her cheeks and back of her neck. "You're going to feel is really sleepy."

I assured her as she jumped up on the silver table, putting her paws on my chest.

"You're going to be just fine."

It was then I felt the urge to cry, I could feel myself going in that direction feeling all the physical sensations however I knew I had to be careful not to show emotion because I felt that if she felt that I was in any way upset, she would pick up on it, and she would freak herself out just before her operation and I didn't want to do that to her. So, I also made sure Penny was alright in the vets arms, I even suggested to this youg girl that she picked her up in front of me because I wanted to see how Penny would respond to someone else other than me and Andy picking her up and if she'd settle in her arms. Thankfully, Penny did before she took her out the back door from the formal office, and she went with the lady no problem. I realised Penny would be put in a cage, and I knew Penny didn't like cages because all I knew was that she'd shit herself and whip herself into a panic. I assured myself she wouldn't be in there for very long before she fell asleep and I tried to tell myself she would be fine but it felt like handing over the most precious most dearest thing in my heart to be taken care of and I felt like telling the vet to do their job properly because I wanted them to take extra special care of my baby. The seccond I left that room to walk out of the vets I walked outside no problem because Andy did walk quicker but as soon as I hit the air outside my legs had literally formed into jelly that had been spooned out of a bowl to form legs because every single step I took my legs felt like unreliable sources of transportation.
Penny was their first operation at nine, so it wouldn't be long before she would be back in my arms, I reassured myself with that knowledge because the expected time was around twelve. I half expected Andy to take me back home where I had made up my mind that I would be cleaning the house top to bottom where she was going to be given the five star treatment, but he surprised me as he took me out for breakfast at a local cafe where we often frequented and they did amazing breakfasts. That breakfast and talking to Andy during our breakfast finally settled my nerves. Afterwards, we went to the market, where I was pleased to see a stand entirely for dogs with a variety of treats. I grabbed two pig snouts, over six chicken legs, and apart from a few chicken sticks the pig snouts and the chicken legs were made out of like a puffed outer skin that would take Penny a while to chew. Of course, these treats would be spaced out for Penny for over two weeks, but for now, I was singlemindly getting focused and trying to get everything perfect for her the second she came home. Once I started getting the treats in I wanted to do more nice things for Penny so I convinced Andy to drive to a garden centre where I knew there were really durable but nice dog toys, so we bought a blue turtle and I bought her a five pound plastic beef scented bone. Whereas he bought a proper dog groomer brush.