Fallen From Grace

Friendship On The Rocks

It wasn't very long after my Uncle Bradley died when Mom a perfectionist by nature just went into this crazy OCD drive at my flat because now we were selling and looking for a house. Which meant crazy cleaning and every night I came home I struggled to get a few hours to myself as I wanted to kick back and relax. She'd let herself in and had vaccumed, cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. Cleaned in and out most windows and whilst these were all good things to do where we're my things?
Where was my laptop I had all my prize procession stories on?
If she'd moved my laptop them what else had she moved?
It was never just one thing. I refused to call her up and find things out. It was my flat I should know where things were. She'd already found a blow up doll in our cupboard in Andy's back pack weeks before that I didn't even know was there.

"Put it away Mom!"

Then that brought on a question every daughter didn't want to hear from her Mother.

"Are you not satisfying him enough?'

"Put it away!" I shrieked.

I didn't know where it had come from. Was she going to pull the whole thing out?

I didn't want to see it...

"Just leave it where it is!"

I had to tell him later. It didn't feel right keeping it back and not telling him and Andy got angry and freaked out not before closing all the windows.

"What was she even doing going through my stuff?"

"Well, she was cleaning - she opened a bag. She thought it was your lunch because she'd found a mouldy sandwich in there before..."

I sort of tried to explain my Mother's actions.

"Do you know how she's going to think?"

I didn't say anything.

"She'll tell your Dad and your Mom and Annie will be all whittering Andy has sex with blow up dolls!"

I could have groaned.

"Your sister will tell Gemma for sure and then everyone will know Andy's got a blow up doll! That's what they are going to be saying!"

I watch as he paces behind our couch.

"She's here to tidy! Not opening things and snooping!"

I knew. I knew. He didn't need to feel violated knowing she'd been unzipping things.

"Whatever I had in there is none of her fucking business that's what it is! She should keep that..."

He tapped the side of his nose furiously.

"Out of ours!"

I felt the anger and tension rolling off of him.

"But she won't keep her big mouth shut!"

Oh I hoped she would.

"She'll tell her Mom..."

It quite possibly wasn't the type of thing to broadcast but he did make me question if she would tell Annie. Mom was in the wrong she shouldn't have opened anything and by not shouting back and suppressing such strong angry emotions myself I ended up having a fit and almost loosing concious up our radiator.

"Kim - Kimberly!"

I just remember Andy holding me with these big wide eyes staring at me as my vision and head came around.

                          ****

"It has to look like a show house," Mom had said during her fourth or coming up to her sixth cleaning spree.