Fallen From Grace

Our Little Star

I remember Thomas's first birthday. I came to the front door with homemade cupcakes with blue swirls in my hands, and a handbag shoved on my right arm. Annie answered the door and took the tray away from me and I could see how pleased she was I'd brought them as she walked to the kitchen.

"Try one of my sister's cupcakes," I heard her saying as I took a seat joining the people in the living room.

There was a massive crowd of people around my sisters in both the kitchen and the living room. Truthfully her house couldn't really house this many people. Most people who were in the living room started to become so full that some others were sitting on the floor. Any way Annie and Mom generally chatted together in the kitchen and Thomas tripped over something that had hurt him on the carpet and I went to him because he cried. I just about got my hands on him just for Ricky's Mother just to take him out of my arms, then, I felt like crying.

It wasn't long at all before Annie came storming on in. I didn't say anything because I felt awful because that should have been me to comfort him while he cried.

"Give him to me," she says to Linda and took Thomas out of Ricky's Mother's arms.

A little later on I was watching Annie open every present everyone had bought for Thomas and there was wrapping paper everywhere and boxes things had come out of in the kitchen but I knew he actually had loads of clothes. Thomas had a few different gifts a few books and certain baby gifts he could use and I remember playing with him on the kitchen floor as he was crawling around and going after open boxes. Linda, saw him crawling around and she cooed and smiled and then she started coming on over! I didn't want him picked up again and out of my arms so I tempted him back by tapping on a box and he turned around and then I had him where I could slot my arms under his armpits and then pulled him closer.

As Thomas aged he became into this blue eyed gorgeous blonde haired baby boy and it was probably after his first birthday he would generally go over to Mom's on Friday's. He'd eat his Weetabix as he'd wave to the postman in the morning and late afternoons on Fridays I would come over because it fitted into my work schedule, however on Fridays I would go on over to Mom and Dad's after I'd eaten because of the comments I would get over what was in my plate.

Mom would often complain how late in the day I would get to hers for but to me the point was I was getting there and showing up and spending time with him but I was doing it without the hassle of either Mom or Dad commenting what I ate because I originally started eating over there and they'd try and palm these crispbreads over on me trying to say this is how to lose weight. I remember thinking this was ridiculous, I didn't like them and there had to be more than one way to lose weight and look good but their way of eating had suddenly become ridiculous and the only right way. Suddenly eating scrambled egg on two pieces of toast was greedy and actually my Dad commented on that.

"You should be eating half of that," he commented.

I looked up to him annoyed.

"Shall I make you a sandwich and only give you half?"

He looked back at me.

"He's got it," Mom started saying in the kitchen. "You've made your point."

I remember he came over to mine for some random reason and was shocked I ate one of those small tins of baked beans on my toast with poached eggs.

"You eat well," he said.

I knew it was a dig but I ignored him and sat myself at my table. It wasn't long before he left before I was left in peace but I do remember hearing from Mom on a phone call...

"You eat an entire can of baked beans?" She gasps.

"Not a full can. A small one."

"Kimberly what's in a smaller can is enough for both me and your Father!"