Racing is life

34 ~ hotel rooms

"Just leave it on for tonight, and we can speak about taking it off in the morning." Charles states, looking at me as I try to peel the tape off the bandage. He is trying to bring up the fact that he said we need to talk about my mental health. We just got back from the hospital and he's wanting to speak about me killing myself.

"Emilie." He says, a small sigh leaving his mouth. I look at him and raise my eyebrows. "Leave it on for tonight." He repeats, his voice soft as he speaks. I shake my head and continue trying to pull it off.

"It's not going to come off, so stop trying." He says, sitting down on his bed and looking at me. He brings his legs up and crosses them in front of him, copying how I'm sat.

"It's itchy though." I whine, squeezing my fingers between the bandage and my skin, trying to scratch away the itch.

"Try to ignore it." He says, keeping his eyes fixed on my forearm.

"I don't even know why that stupid doctor put this stupid bandage on. I don't need it. The cuts aren't infected or anything." I mutter, still trying to shove my fingers down the bandage.

"It's more there so you can't do it again." He replies, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"I've got another arm." I state, looking at him.

"But you're not going to do it on that arm, are you? Because cutting yourself isn't the right way to deal with things." He says, his voice gentle as he speaks.

"I might do." I mutter, looking down at the bedsheets.

"No, you're not. We're going to move past that together, and get you the help you need." He responds, looking at my face. My eyes dart around the bed, not knowing how to answer that.

My phone dings and lights up from beside me. I pick it up and look at who has messaged me.

"Who is it?" Charles asks, trying to see the screen.

"It's Theo." I say, unlocking my phone to respond back.

Theo :
'Hi Em, my dad is taking my phone off
me, so I won't be able to message you
for a week.'

Me :
'What did you do?'

Theo:
'Hit my brother, he was being
an idiot.'

Me :
'Ok, well I'll see you at school on Tuesday.
I love you.'

Theo :
'Yeah I love you too.'

"What did he say?" Charles asks, looking at me.

"His dad is taking his phone away because he hit his older brother." I mutter, swiping on my phone and going on Snapchat.

"Why did he hit his brother?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows at me. I shrug my shoulders, not paying much attention to him. "Come on then, let's have a chat." He says, getting comfortable on the bed, keeping his eyes on me. I don't respond to him.

"Em, put your phone down. We need to have a talk." He says slightly firmer, looking at me with confusion as to why I'm not listening to him. I don't want to have a stupid talk about my mental health.

"Emilie." He states, reaching forward and snatching it out of my hand, shoving it into his shorts pocket. I sigh and roll my eyes, leaning my back against the headboard of the bed.

"Why do you do it?" He asks, his eyes becoming softer again. I shrug my shoulders, not making eye contact with him. "I can't help you if you don't speak to me." He adds.