𝘔𝘺 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘦 🥀

15

By Your Side :

I couldn't stop myself from all the crying I was doing. My heart aches more than anything. Just the thought of being told I have to quit horse ridin pains me more than the physical pain.

It's not fair.

Daddy knows that injuries come with this. The fact that he's so strict about them is insane. I swore I wouldn't get hurt anymore but other things happened. That stupid fucking horse had to toss me over stepping on a rock! It couldn't have hurt that bad.

I keep telling myself he's a baby and I can't blame him but i'm just so upset. I'm so close to telling Momma to get rid of Dusk. But I can't bring myself to do it. She was devastated hearing about my incident. It's like she was sad for me and it showed.

Having my momma help me in the bath made me feel like a little girl again. She gave me my privacy but I hated having to call her for help. Never did she seem annoyed about it, it's just that I did.

"Are you hungry Bunny? I'll cook for ya before I leave."

"I'm not hungry Momma."

"You said the same thing last night baby."

I closed my eyes wanting to ignore her but I knew she wouldn't just leave. Instead, she came and kissed the side of my face over and over until I opened my eyes back. Her sweet smile held my attention as she rubbed my forehead.

"It's gonna be alright. Your father went on a trip with his friends so he won't be back for a week and a half...Let's hope you get better in between time. But we can't keep it from him."

"We can Momma. He ain't gon care that i'm fine, he just gonna say I can't. You know." Daddy can be real overprotective sometimes. And i've been real lucky lately cause he's been leavin me alone.

"I do.. But maybe it's about time that you take a break from this baby. You been-"

"Nooo. No. I'm not stoppin, ion care. I'm gonna do the show this weekend. It ain't like I got to use my legs anyways. Please Momma." I sat up in the bed. She ain't been trynna hear it. All the screaming I did yesterday made her think it was cause of the pain. That didn't matter to me.

My feelings are hurt. Bad.

"That's not safe Onika."

"How is it not? I'm not harming myself or nothin. Momma please. I'm beggin you. I can't miss it." I cried interlocking my hands across my chest. Momma know ion beg and if I could get on my hands and knees right now, I would.

They know horse ridin is my life. Having to stop is like taking my last breath.

"Bunny it's just one show."

"It's not just one show Momma and you know it! Me and Beyoncé been workin for months!"

"Alright, I understand. But that still doesn't mean it's worth risking your-"

"It's not riskin nothin. I'm doin the same thang i'll do any other show. Ride."

"Fix this attitude Bunny, and quit talkin to me like that. I'm trying to see eye to eye with this. But if you keep on trying it, imma say forget it."

"Momma you frustratin me and I just wanna cry." I felt my tears fall down my face. They not trynna hear where i'm comin from and it angers me more than anything. I'm always being dismissed, why can't she listen?

"It's okay to cry....Baby don't make me sad. Please?....Im gonna let you do it. Just stop cryin." She sat at the edge of the bed and pulled me into her. I cried hard. I'm sensitive about this stuff cause it's all I know.