𝘔𝘺 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘦 🥀

20

Pretty Girl:

It was about time I talked to my momma about things. After weeks of hearing she had something to tell me and seeing her stress herself, I felt like it was officially time. Especially with what i've witnessed between her and daddy.

They've been rocky. Real rocky. And since she made me come home from Beyoncés house, I was getting something out of it. I enjoyed being in her bed and she enjoyed me being there.

It felt like final goodbyes when I was leavin.

"Mommy come to my room and talk." I grabbed her hand and pulled her upstairs so we could get comfortable. It's obvious that whatever is going on will have a toll on her, she's been looking disappointed for weeks. "You can have my spot."

"No baby. Don't do that, just be normal alright?"

"Ok. Well at least lay with me. Please?"

"Alright." She held her gown as she got in my bed, following my movements and we laid down. I could see the distress in her eyes. My momma has been putting herself through things she doesn't deserve to go through. "I know I shoulda been told you."

"It takes time Momma."

"I thank you for allowing me to take as much I need. And i'm sorry for what i'm bout to tell you but-"

"Don't be sorry Momma.... Just tell me."

"I umm...I was pregnant."

"Another sibling wouldn't be bad Momma. You got me, i'm not racin for some time so-"

"No Bunny, I was. I ain't no more." Oh.

My heart felt like it was going through a rollercoaster. The feeling in my stomach was queasy, I didn't know what to say. I'd never known my momma to go through something like that, so I was bit conflicted.

"H-How Momma? Why you ain't say nothin?"

"I knew it was happenin Bunny." The tears rolled down her face, I reached up to wipe em. They seemed to be some that she had been holding in for some time as they flowed. "I knew I was havin a miscarriage so I did everything I could to leave the house everyday. Tina took me around, gave me things to keep my days busy all while staying by my side. Bunny I was stressing so bad I couldn't carry no baby. And I felt guilty about it. Guilty cause I know another sibling is somethin you wanted. I couldn't do it. And looking in your face everyday gave me more guilt than the day before."

"It's alright Momma, you ain't gotta feel like that. I would understand. I've seen. Everything ya tellin me is what I seen with my own eyes. Momma I knew you was goin through somethin, I just couldn't think what. So I didn't say nothin. But i'm sorry you had to go through that alone..."

"It's not ya fault baby....I didn't get the chance to tell your father."

"I know it's somethin going on with him too Momma. It may be too much to say now, but-"

"We gettin a divorce."

"A what?!" I sat up in shock. A divorce was not something I was ready to hear. Never did I think it was that bad. Momma always said a divorce would never be the answer for them. "Mommy really?"

"Yes Bunny, i'm sorry...I didn't wanna tell you but.. ya father put me through a lot these last couple months...it hurts to say it but he put so much stress on me Bunny.

I caught ya father cheating on me. Several times. The loss of this child was like the icing on the cake. Going out of town and catching him this time wasn't even what did it....I lost a child, Onika."

I felt for Momma. I'd never seen her so hurt, heartbroken. No matter what she went through she always showed us a smile, no sadness behind it. It broke my heart just seeing her tears.