It's been almost a week simula nang magkita ko in actual nung inatake si Hazel ng kanyang mental health condition na PTSD o Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Naiklaro na niya ang tungkol sa bagay na ito nang mag-open up siya sa akin kinabukasan ng gabi pagkatapos nung nangyari. She admitted that she had been diagnosed with PTSD back when she was a teenager. Her psychiatrist mentioned that panic attacks could recur after years. Ang suspetya niyang sanhi nito ay dahil sa palaging niyang nawi-witness ang pag-aaway ng kanyang magulang bago sila umantong sa divorce noon. Mas naging traumatic pa sa kanya ang masalimuot na karanasang iyon mula nung iniwan sila ng kanyang ama.
As her boyfriend, it was heartbreaking to hear what she went through and its impact on her. Kung pwede lang na pasanin ko na lang ang kondisyon niyang ito ay gagawin ko. I don't want to see her suffering from PTSD again, like what happened last time. Nakakadurog talaga ng puso.
"Oppa, why are you looking at me like that? Don't be so overdramatic. I'm not going to die from this PTSD," Hazel said teasingly after I hugged her. I rested my hands on her shoulders while we stared at each other intently.
"Ya! (Hey!) Don't be silly, my girlfriend." I scolded her and then sighed. "Nalulungkot lang ako sa pinagdaanan mo noon, at sa naging epekto sayo nung traumatic event na iyon. I know that PTSD is not a joke like depression. I feel guilty that I couldn't do anything for you, especially when your physical symptoms appear like chest pain and difficulty in breathing during a panic attack. Nahihirapan ako na nakikita kang nahihirapan," I shared, my voice filled with empathy.
Saglit siyang napahinto, at nakailang pagkurap ang kanyang tila nagbabatis na mga mata habang pinagmamasdan pa din nila ako. Hanggang na muli niya akong hinagkan nang mahigpit, at narinig ko na lang ang kanyang paghikbi na may kasamang tuwa. "Ya! (Hey!) You're the one being silly here. It's like you have PTSD, not me. But I appreciate how you comfort and care for me. Don't feel guilty about not being able to do anything. That's not true. Knowing that you're here and the emotional support you're giving me is indeed helpful. I don't feel alone in this anymore-because I have you now. Maybe my condition triggered at the right time?" May kasama man na biro ang mga sinabi niya, pero naramdaman ko kung gaano siya ka-grateful sa presence ko bilang boyfriend niya ngayon.
I scoffed and composed myself. I didn't want to cry with her, though I was touched by her words. "You might be right. But I wish you wouldn't experience that again, especially in places like that. What if I wasn't with you, and it got worse? Hindi ko mapapatawad sarili ko kapag nagkaganon! At siguradong malilintikan din ako kay Mister Jeong kapag nalaman niyang may nangyaring masama sayo. Call me overdramatic." I ranted quickly, making her laugh even as she wiped her tears. "But, seriously, isn't it time to visit your psychologist or psychiatrist again? Don't get me wrong. Hindi naman sa pinangungunahan kita. I'm just really concerned about your welfare. At hindi rin kita minamadali. So take your time to think about my suggestion. Let me know when you decide, and I'll support you all the way. I'll help you find the best mental health doctor in the city, anything to help you heal," dugtong ko sa mahinahon at maingat kong tono. Trying to be careful not to say anything that could be taken negatively.
She sniffed as I helped wipe her tears. She smiled at me before turning serious. "Yeah, I understand where you're coming from, oppa. I know your concern for me is a top priority. I can't believe I found such a caring boyfriend. I didn't expect you to take my PTSD seriously. I thought I would just feel relieved after sharing my story. But you didn't just listen; you really care," pag-amin niya na halatang naantig siya sa pagiging caring ko. "Ya! (Hey!) Wag kang masyadong ganyan. I've never experienced this kind of treatment. I don't even know if I deserve this much attention. You're making me fall in love with you even more!" she added, playfully hitting my chest, still sobbing. She was so adorable when she spoke those words full of love. I couldn't help but feel swooned.
BINABASA MO ANG
OUR TIMELINE (우리의타임라인)
RomanceIn the intertwining fates of Isagani Manansala and Ha Yoon Jeong, two individuals from different cultures, they meet in South Korea amidst a misunderstanding that sets their journey in motion. Years later, their paths cross again in the Philippines...
