After our talk in my office Zac and I only spoke to one another about the kids nothing else. I've finally found my perfect home after living with my dad for 2 weeks. At first Zac was being a dick when it came to shared custody for Micah but he and Zariah have been joined by the hip so they were not too happy about Her being able to come to me alone. I never excluded Micah in any sort of kind of way that was all Zac's doing. After loads of arguments about our arrangement Zac finally came to his senses and now we have shared custody when it comes to the kids. Let's be honest the only reason he didn't wane allow Micah to come to me was because his ass was petty as fuck. They've been with me this entire week however Zac asked if he could get the kids early because he wanted to take them to Disneyland in LA for the weekend and the whole of next week so they left this morning.
When we initially spoke to the kids about what's happening in our family Zariah of course lashed out on me because she thought I was taking her away from her dad and brother. But after explaining to her that we're still a family even though we're not living the same house she felt slightly better. However I could see that my kids are super sad and that this was affecting them negatively because both Zar and Micah started acting out at school but Zac handled that shit real quick.
Since Zac and the kids were away I decided to pack up all my clothes that were still at Zac's house and have Brian and Jacobi drive it to my new home. Danni was helping me pack while Andi's ass was just sitting and snacking her life away.
Andi: You serious about all this?
Fatima: I am Andi, I honestly think this is exactly what Zac and I need. I have some things I need to work on and he does too. If we keep going the way that we're going then our asses will probably end up divorced in a few years. And I don't want that. Truthfully I don't even know if I want to be married right now. Zac and I love each other but maybe that just isn't enough. Maybe we were brought back into each other's lives for closure but instead we are out trying to relive the past. And we're trying to force a marriage that has ran it's course. Maybe we're just meant to be friends and co-parent our kids
Danni: What are you saying It? Cause it's giving that your end goal is a divorce. It actually feels like you already know what you want but you're just looking for validation.
Fatima: I don't know what I want. But I do know that I can't live this way anymore. Zac and I are so used to sweeping shit under the rug, we think little vacations and alone time will help us heal when we need professional help. Shit I need professional help. I don't know what Zac and my future holds but I do know that I want to be happy. Like I said we'll see where this separation takes us.
Andi: I can't respect that. I just want you to be happy.
Danni: I want both you and Zac to be happy. And if that means that you have to call it quits then so be it but Ti you need to consider your kids and ensure that no matter how this all ends that you and Zac are both in a good place with one another for the sake of your kids.
We finished packing and the boys got my things and took it to my new place. Danni and Andi were tired so they went home and left me in my new home by myself. I unpacked all the boxes and put everything in their places then I showered and ordered some food afterwards. Once the order arrived I ate on the couch in the lounge while watching stranger things.
I miss my husband and kids but I do love being able to be alone and enjoying my own company. I've never lived alone or had a place to myself. I got married to Zac straight out of my dad's home, then I had Zariah and we lived together and then I was back with Zac again so this right her being able to have a place to myself every other week feels like heaven. I know Zac and I will eventually have to talk about our marriage and honestly I've considered all my options carefully and I low-key know what I want I just need a sign to confirm that I'm making the right choice.
