Moving On *Completed*

Chapter 59-Am I Worthless?

Emily Pov

I had a great night dancing and talking with my girlfriends, and I enjoyed getting to dance and relax with the guys. I think I finally got them to see me as more than just their bosses' poor female who they need to protect.

Then my parents call and shake me to the core. Not only do I find out they don't trust me, they care more about the Academy and their teams than me. On top of that, father said something about a woman named Sang and what I am bringing up for them. I did not want to hurt them. I hurried up so I could leave and they would not see how upset I was. I am just glad it was just the two of them and not all of them. How humiliating would that be.

Then I get to the Coliseum and PAC to make sure everything so set up for the concert tonight, only to find out the dancers do not remember the most important part of the choreography we went over a week and a half ago, which tells me they did not rehearse like they said they did. The changing room for one of the artists is not correct and the breakfast was late arriving for the crew. After rectifying all this, and going over the choreography with the dancers to make sure they had it, I see it's 11am and I need a break. I check my phone to see Gabe sent me a text advising he is done with the VIP lounge and is handling the club for me. He will call me when it's done and he is ready to go to the afternoon meeting with me. I text him back and tell him thanks. I need to talk to Phil and decide to send him a text:

 ME: Good Morning. Can you meet me at the park behind your home in 20 minutes. I really need someone to talk to.

Phil: Sure. At the normal spot?

Me: Yes. Thanks.

Phil: Anytime Em's.

I hop in my car and drive to the park. Since it's Saturday Morning, people are out walking their dogs and playing with their kids. I see a couple walking the trail hand in hand and a thought hits me. I don't know if any of them have girlfriends. I mean, I know Luke was single because North told me at the planning meeting. Oh God, I did not want to break up any relationships. I walk over to the bench and look out at the lake. The lake reminds me of Gabe's eyes. So blue and clear, unlike my thoughts which are gray and depressing. I put my face in my hands and rest my elbows on my knees and cry. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I know its Phil.

"Em's, why are you crying? You know I can't stand to see you cry?" says Phil.

"This has been a horrible morning. I find out my parents care more about the Academy and its image than me and they don't trust me. They embarrassed me and put me down in front of Sean and Owen and made me feel like I am worthless. I had issues this morning at the Coliseum and It just dawned on me, I never asked any of the guys if they have girlfriends. On top of that, how can I like nine, not one or two, but nine guys at once. And what's up with this Sang woman and why are my parents comparing me to her?"

"You know what Phil, if they don't trust me with them and I am hurting the guys, I should just let them go. They don't need to protect me. They have families, possible girlfriends, and other assignments they could be doing. Besides, if Damien gets me I don't want anyone else getting hurt in the process. "

" Do you think if you tell them to go, the guys will just up and leave you? Trust me Emily. They will not and I will not allow it. I don't know why your parents said that to you today, but I will look into it. They must not have meant it."

Oh yes they did and as I tell him what happened this morning, he stays silent, but his face is as red as a tomato and he is balling his hands into fists. When I am done he just looks at me.

"Em's, I love you and I care about you. The way they attacked you, Sang's memory and the Blackbourne team is unacceptable. I will look into it. You have my word. As far as you sleeping with them, I don't care if you sleep in the same bed with them or not, as long as they respect you and you respect them. If that is what you want and you feel safer that way, so be it."

"As for Sang, you will need to ask them about her, as it's not my story to tell. However, I will say, hear them out. Lastly, I can assure you, they are all single. They have been for a while so you are not breaking up any relationships."

I look up at him astonished. He actually said he loved me and cared about me. I knew he cared and claimed to love me, but I had no idea he loved me like this. I wipe the tear from my eye and leap over to his side of the bench and give him a big hug. He squeezes me just as tight.

"Thanks Phil. You're always there for me. Thank you for putting my mind at ease."

"Anytime. Now did you say you like all the guys on the team?"

Pulling away, I figure I better tell him how I feel about them, and I really want his opinion and what I should do. I know Alec and my sisters say go for it, but he is like a parent and I need his permission since he knows them better than I do.

"Yes. I do like them. It's like each of them draw me to them for different reasons and when I am with all of them, I feel complete. I was a nervous wreck this week worrying about them, and I thought Gabe was going to snap. Alec pointed out to me the only people I worry like that about is you and him. What do you think? Is there something wrong with me? Do you think I am hero worshiping them like mom and dad?"

"No, I think you really like them and there is nothing wrong with it. I don't think you are hero worshiping them. Just spend some time with them after training next week and see if your feelings are real or not."

"That's a great idea! Maybe I can go out on a date with them to see."

"There you go. Now what else is bothering you?"

"Nothing. I just hope the rest of the day goes well. Thanks Phil. Oh, I better go, it's 12:30 and I am hungry. Plus I need to fix something for everyone to eat. Hey, they are coming to my house at 3 o'clock to discuss security tonight. Are you coming?"

"No, but I know you will work it out. Just don't push them away. I trust you and them to work it out." he says as we stand up.

"Come on, let's head back. You know this old man does not like the cold, he says as he nods towards the cars.

"Well, at least its not snowing." I reply back with a laugh as we walk towards the parking lot.

He laughs and as we pass a tree he starts knocking on it saying knock on wood. I can't help but laugh.

He smiles and then leans down and kisses my forehead. He tells me it will be alright and that if I need him again to call him. I say will do and have a good afternoon. He tells me the same and I watch him walk to his car which is further than mine. I get in my car and check my phone. Gabe has texted me to say he will catch a ride with Mr. Blackbourne over to my place this afternoon. I reply OK and I decide to head home, rest and figure out what to cook for all of us.